Comments for Child Abuse Story From Dave

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Mar 15, 2012
Dave:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

What happened to you as a child is not your fault. And it will never BE your fault. You were not to blame. And you have nothing to feel shame or guilt about. Blame, shame and guilt is squarely on the shoulders of the uncles who sexually abused you. I learned a long time ago that when we continue to suffer from emotional pain from what we endured as children it's because our minds are trying to bury the feelings and emotions attached to the memories. I learned that when I allowed my Self to fully feel those emotions in a safe environment and reminded my Self that I wasn't actually still BEING abused and that I could no longer be hurt by the people who harmed me as a child, that's when the emotions began to let go of me. You don't want to die, Dave. What you want is to be out of pain; and the best way I know is to confront rather than circumvent that pain. I strongly urge you to seek out some form of counselling or therapy in order to deal with all the effects that continue to linger in your life. And just for the record, you, not your girlfriend, is the one who must make the decisions about what you're going to do. If you—YOU—decide you want to pursue the legal avenue with respect to your uncles, then that's YOUR choice...no one elses. But if you do, please be sure to have a support system in place, because there is no guarantee that justice will be served. What can happen instead is re-victimization as you desperately try to get people to believe you, which can easily transport you back to being an abused and hushed child. That's why counselling is so important. I send you love, light and healing energy, Dave. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Mar 15, 2012
RE: Child Abuse Story From Dave
by: Zachary

You should not feel guilty for what your uncles did to you when you were 13 years old. That is their responsibility, not yours. They were sick, twisted “men” who raped you with little moral consequence. It is a shame that you let this grow inside of you over the past 30 years but I am glad that you are finally opening up to the people that you love. Hopefully those perverts will get what they deserve.
Good Luck,
Zachary

Mar 15, 2012
Don't Deny Yourself
by: Rita M

Hi Dave,
My heart really goes out to you.However taking your life is not a wise decision.I commend you for reporting the abuse.You don't know if they have abused others.You have taken the first step by telling the authorities.Keeping the abuse insideis unhealthy.The thing is if you go for councelling you can let it all out.This would help you understand things at a better view.
This would help you to develope a stable life.
Also if you go to court you will be able to speak in confidence.Wether you take this to court and charge them or not stablity is still needed in your life.You did not deserve the abuse.Bring the shame out and set yourself free.I am very proud that you have started to vocalize the abuse.Don't ever stop.Your worth has been stolen and as long as you are alive you will experience the healing.
You can relieve your feelings of shame and hopelessness while you are alive and give yourself a chance.You can beat this.Rather than
physical death get rid of the abuse instead and face the issues.You deserve freedom.There is so much help out and around you.There are councellors who are trained to help people like yourself.I was a battered child and through the years of councelling I felt like a different person.I also wanted to die but realized that the
abusers would win.I am free now and wish the same
kind of peace for you.We are designed to be healthy and happy.Don't deny yourself of this.
Those abusers are scums and think nothing of what
they did.They are the ones that should carry the
shame the guilt not you.Taking the first step as
you did encourages you to continue to let it all out and live the life in happiness as you deserve.
DON'T DENY YOURSELF,BECAUSE YOU ARE WELL WORTH IT.
Take back what is yours.

Rita M

Mar 15, 2012
pain
by: Scott 1

Hi dave

I was mauled and sexually beaten by an elementary school teacher from that province. Both publically and in private. The pain and shame live on, the stress and humiliation lives on. Like you I wonder when these abusers will be held accountable. Good luck with the N.S. justice system.

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