Comments for Child Abuse Story From Danielle2

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Nov 22, 2008
You were a "scapegoat" of sorts...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Danielle, you bore the brunt of your mother's intense dissatisfaction with her life. She violently and criminally let loose on you; you most certainly did NOT deserve that. You did NOT deserve to be treated so callously and with such complete disregard. The fact that no one reported what was happening to you, the fact that no one was there to protect you is just as criminal. When others know of abuse yet choose to do nothing about it, they are enabling that abuse.

I commend you for recognizing how physical discipline can go too far. All too often, adults who were physically abused as children continue the cycle of abuse. Such recognition is important, and so is recognizing that appropriate discipline is every bit as important; otherwise, you rob your children of the lessons they need to learn.

You said you're taking daily medication "just to want to stay alive"; I do hope your prescription for these meds comes with some form of therapy. What you are dealing with is way too difficult to deal with by yourself. You are so worth that kind of help. The best gift you can give to your children is to take good care of their mother. Just remember: You are NOT your mother.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, Danielle. I wish you and your beautiful children all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 22, 2008
courage
by: Anonymous

danielle, thanks for sharing something so difficult for you. i read you today and wanted you to know that i am so sorry for what you have experienced. i too am trying to raise [four] children, and not repeat the cycle of abuse that i suffered at the hands of those who should have wanted to protect me. i am sorry for what you went through, and the pain you are feeling now. you will be a better mother because you know what it feels like to not have protection and love. one thing that has been hard for me as i get older is not being jealous of my own children as i protect them and love them in the way that no one loved me. that is the hard part of parenting for me, the little girl inside who wonders why i wasn't worth protecting. i felt your courage as i read you today. my son told me not too long ago that bravery is not a choice, it is something that we have to be in times that are difficult, but courage is a choice, it is an action, it is what we do after we are brave to overcome our personal tragedies. i truly read courage in you today. sharing is empowering, that is my hope for you.

Nov 22, 2008
How could she?
by: Francine

Your story really breaks my heart, Danielle. Did you really forgive your mother? I am so sorry that you didn't have a good mom; I, too, had gone and still go through the same thing with my psycho mother, and she, to, is extremely ballistic and abusive. Well, when she was a little girl living in Moldova, from age 5 until age 20 and living in San Francisco or New York (actually, my mom was only 11 1/2 when she moved to New York from Moldova), my mother was often literally subjected to frequent beatings and severe verbal abuse at the hands of her own parents, so I guess she always takes out her childhood frustrations on me everyday. Literally. I must say that I am delighted when your mother had to go to the mental hospital to seek professional help cuz it not for her friend taking her to that hospital, then you could have withered and died, indeed, you would have...Oh God forbid. But I am dismayed when your grandmother literally turned a blind eye on your mom beating the information out of you...and she let you down criminally. Shame on your grandma for dropping the ball! Danielle, you might want to try counselling, or, in that case, therapy. And good luck with your lovely four children because when I'll have even one baby, I might someday, too, be the mom that my own mother isn't. I will pray for you and your children. Gd bless.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

With love,
Francine

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