Comments for Child Abuse Story From Danica

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Jan 15, 2010
Danica:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I strongly recommend some form of counselling in order to help you deal with the turmoil of being molested and betrayed, someone who can help you to stop cutting. You were sexualized as a child because of what happened to you at the hands of adults. None of what happened was your fault.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 17, 2010
I admire your strength.
by: Mike K

Danica, thank you for coming and sharing this with everyone here.

I really admire your strength. It is such a crushing experience to be betrayed by someone close to you such as your step dad, especially when he was so close. What he did was completely unacceptable, you trusted him and he broke that trust and lied to you.
I know the feeling of confusion that can spark from your body liking what is happening but your mind and heart feels wrong about it, and the feeling that it must be somehow your fault because you wanted it, and even actively invited it, but please do not feel that you are a bad person because of those conflicting feelings. You were just a child, betrayed by someone you love who was taking advantage of how he knew your body would react, and how close you two were.
When we are kids we don't think that the people we love are going to hurt us, so when hurtful things happen, especially insidious and deceptive things, we try as hard as we can to feel like it must be okay to some justification. 'After all, this person wouldn't hurt me, so it must be okay. I love them and they love me and so it must be fine.' even though your heart has that constant tapping saying 'something isn't right here'.

I hope that things are okay with your real dad and that what happened when you went to visit him didn't change your relationship. I hope that he is more of a loving father and kept that purity even when you put his hand down your pants. It would be tragic for it to happen with both your dads, but it sounds like things are okay. A loving father would be a wonderful thing to have.

Good for you for confronting your step dad about what he did. You are such a strong person for making that step. I can only imagine how hard that would have been. I have never been able to confront anyone about what happened to me, and that is the first step towards healing and stopping that sort of thing from happening. Good for you, Danica.

I hope that you can find a different way to deal with your pain than cutting. I know that such a sharp physical pain can block out the emotional pain and feel so much better than all those horrible thoughts, but of course you know deep down that it's not the right way.
Maybe you should talk to your mother about what happened, and find some measure of outlet in your relationship with her. If she asked about it, she might already know, and I know all too well the feeling of not being able to talk with anyone. It is such an unbearable pain, that of silence. Maybe your mother and you can gain a special relationship and whenever you feel really horrible you can talk with her instead of cutting.

Good luck, I hope things continue to improve for you. You are an amazing person and such an incredibly strong young woman. Much love to you.

Jan 19, 2010
Get Help, Don't Delay. Always believe in yourself
by: maurice

Danica, Darlene's comment is where you begin to get your life together NOW. Take action NOW Get the help she knows will do the world of good. You deserve the best NOW after what you were put through. Hi know it was not YOUR fault. Stop harming your BEAUTIFUL BODY that will not achieve anything. You know that better than me. Look in the mirror and ASK why would any one (ME) want to cut, bruise, abuse this lovely tender skin disfigureing it's beauty. hurting myslelf. Pain does not heal Danica. You get the creams and lotion that are available in your medical store. begin NOW to caresss, soothe, massage it into your lovely BODY. bottom and all. Make your body feel so good that wanting to harm it will make you sick. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body. Oh yes you can. I CAN: I WILL: I MUST: JUST BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT. Well Danica are you getting my message to you. I believe when we mix/intergrate with likeminded people in sporting and cultural groups we natrally heal ourselves. Be safe. Darlene is the one you take heed off.

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