Comments for Child Abuse Story From Cookie

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Jun 22, 2008
You deserve so much better...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Cookie, you shouldn't be in a position of having to take care of your younger siblings and your mother. You should be enjoying your teens and making friends and learning how to be social and partaking in the adventures of school and of just being 13 years old. You should have parents who openly love you and nurture you and provide you with all your needs. You deserve all that. Your mother has serious problems, an illness; and she needs help for that, help that only she can make the decision to get.

But you, Cookie, you can make the decision to never raise a hand to anyone. While I can understand how striking your mother and leaving her with a black eye can relieve frustration and help you vent, the lifelong guilt that comes about when you strike someone, especially when that someone is your own mother, is a hefty price to pay.

At some point in our lives, we have to decide what kind of a person we want to be; and while 13 is too young to be at that decision point, by virtue of your deplorable circumstances, you ARE at that point, Cookie. Decide right here and now that you will not allow your mother's sickness to turn you into someone you yourself will be ashamed of. You are NOT that kind of person, Cookie. You are a caring and loving and nurturing young woman; you're proving that by taking the reins and taking care of your siblings. When you feel the urge to strike out at your mother, walk away. In the face of anger and adversity and aggravation, to walk away takes a great deal of strength, strength I believe you have inside of you.

I can also understand why you see other families as "perfect." Compared to your own unacceptable family life, it would on the surface appear that everyone else's family is wonderful. But appearances can be, and are, deceiving. There is a lot more dysfunction among families than many people realize. I say this to you in an effort to help you understand that you are not alone in your plight, Cookie. If you've read some of the stories on this site, you know that.

You need to talk to someone about what is happening to you. Consider talking to a school counsellor, or an adult you trust. I also strongly urge you to contact Kids Helpline in Canada at 1-800-668-6868. They are staffed with professionally trained counsellors who will help you with your options. You can remain anonymous, if you so choose. Although they are not a reporting agency, if you decide to give them identifying information that includes your name and an address or phone number, they are legally obligated to report any disclosures of abuse.

I sincerely wish you all the best, Cookie. You deserve the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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