Comments for Child Abuse Story From Chelsea

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Feb 10, 2009
You are definitely a survivor...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Chelsea, your message is an important one: It is NEVER a child's fault. Just as it was NOT YOUR FAULT that Jonathan and Jon and that landlord sexually assaulted you. What concerns me in your story is the message that telling is a mistake. It WASN'T a mistake to tell. I suggest you have been looking at this from a somewhat skewed perspective, as understandable as that perspective is. You must look at telling as a way to ensure the abuse comes to an end. Please don't get me wrong...I'm not for one second saying that these three shouldn't have had to deal with legal consequences—sexual child abuse deserves to be treated with swift and punitive action for the offender. What I am saying is that you can't measure the success of telling by the yardstick of whether or not your molesters were sent to jail.

Something else very important to remember here, Chelsea, is not to apply adult values to decisions you made as a child. You didn't scream or yell or tell him to stop, and you didn't tell someone because you were desperately afraid, and because you protected yourself from additional harm in the best way you knew how to at the time. You were a child, and as such, there wasn't a whole lot you could have done. As you got older and more mature, and as you became more aware you changed the way you dealt with the situation. Don't lose sight of that fact.

What needs to happen is for adults to learn and understand why children don't tell and why they do tell, and then to act accordingly through education at home and at school so that children in the future make different choices that will at the very least stop the abuse in its tracks: intervention is every bit as critical as prevention.

People like you, Chelsea, who have been through it personally must rise up and be vocal so that children don't continue to suffer in silence the way you felt you had to; that is the ultimate in turning pain into power. You've started turning pain into power by posting your story on this site. Thank you for sharing it with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 13, 2009
Brave Soul
by: Anonymous

Chelsea, you are such a brave young woman to be able to share with others this experience. You get it, and you are right - it is NOT your fault. So often this is the most difficult thing to grasp. I'm so sorry that those horrible things happened to you and at such vulnerable times in life. I wish you continuous healing on your journey.

Jun 17, 2011
wow
by: chelsea

oh my goodness. hi, im chelsea. i forgot i had posted this on here... this was in 2009 and i have another one that i wrote in 2008. when i looked back over this and saw how this had affected me just from last time i wrote about it, i can cry... i am not sure if this is a happy cry or a sad cry, mad, or what..just makes me want to cry... anyways, i do understand where u were coming from when u said what u said about my post.. thanks for the advice:) anyone who is reading this, just remember -- it is still not your fault.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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