Comments for Child Abuse Story From Charles B

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Dec 08, 2009
Charles:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You ARE good enough. Your FATHER is the one with the problem. Please consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. You can visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.childhelp.org/get_help

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 08, 2009
Sorry
by: kristen

Hi Charles,
It is heart wrenching to read your story. Parental approval is just so important and I understand the need to be loved.

Just know that others are thinking of you.

All I can say is that I sympathise and look to the future.

kristen

Dec 09, 2009
Behind closed doors, Deceptive and The ignorant live.
by: maurice

Oh Charles B I can identify greatly with your honest and truthful telling of your Father's beatings etc. Through the years even since my own beatings 50 years ago the one's who did it were hail fellow well met with their Neighbours and in their place of work. Then in the secrecy of their homes they were tyrants to their children and spouses. Sick human beings out and out. Thank you for being so honest. I know many good modern day parent's who certainly don't physically beat their children but relate right and wrong by patient repeating of what is right and wrong to their child. Many have said to me it is worth it but very tempting at times to smack or beat them into doing what is right and wrong. They are wonderful parents and have reared great children. It is great now to see the children and parents just friends sharing naturally with each other. It ain't easy because society around them is getting more violent and unruly because many parents don't make the effort to raise their childremn with a good sense of morals or right and wrong. A percent of our younger generation are out of control. My peace of mind and sanity is kept alive by knowing that 75% of Family life is great, good, wholesome, and loving families are a proof of that and will influence the community all around them. Thank you for your honest sharing. Keep loving and rearing your children in Love and respect of themselves and others. You're the best.

Dec 09, 2009
You are special
by: Anonymous

i hope you are ok and that you ahve talked to someone that can help and who cares if you think you are gay

you are still special

x

Dec 21, 2009
dont worry
by: Marce

hey don't let your self down your no less than anyone, and about your social skills and things to talk about read the news search for new music enter youtube.com things like that make differences, also search in google confidence, talking to people things like that and you'll get some tips which will also help you. and believe me you are not the onlyone in with this problem. just keep studing and keep trying to get the best scores you can :). try to tell a teacher about your situation and try to hv prove because if you dont then dont bother it will just make things worst. keep studing and maybe you can go to college earlier that will be good. remember you are not lessthan anyone and dont blame your self. cuz its not your fault. another thing you can do, is search for joke in internet in youtube there is alot of things you can search about look for funny things and stuff having a laught will help you alot :D. dont let about the feelings try to help people when you think the need help. this will help you meet people and will make you feel reward because you're helping someone....

hope it get alot better and dont let your self down because of your dad Marce :)

Jan 15, 2010
Listen to our voices, not your dad's
by: Mark

Charles B,
Your strength and bravery are incredibly impressive. Really. To endure all that you have with little or no support...but you're still here! You are a "pillar" of strength - maybe "chipped" here and there by abuse - but, by God, you're STILL STANDING! Congratulations! I just don't know the words to express how PROUD I am of you!
Try not to internalize your dad's opinions of you. Just humor him if you have to. Listen to us instead. You have the same value as anyone else...and YOU ARE SECOND TO NO ONE. NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY has the right to tell you that you are, especially because it is absolutely not true.
I'm sorry that you cry often - I've been there too - but I felt kind of better afterwards. I hope that it's a good emotional release for you, because I want you to be able to have good feelings after you finally get away, buddy.
By the way, your writing skills are terrific and you should be very proud of yourself for all those high grades. You communicate very well, so if you're having trouble talking to your peers, can you find someone older to talk to?
Your isolation scares me, pal. Don't feel alone. There are plenty of people out there who have been through this, too. I pray you find someone with similar experiences to talk to. I only wish you and I could have grown up together, so I could tell you how proud I am of you each and every day. YOU DESERVE IT.
Thank you for your story, Charles, and remember, buddy: You are second to NO ONE.
From that voice in your ear reminding you that I'll always be proud of you,
Mark


Jan 16, 2010
Charles, please call the hotline
by: Anonymous

I have been in a verbally and physically abusive marriage (to my children), for 14 years and I saw my husband doing the same thing to me and especially to my oldest son. He is now 13, and in counselling.

The abuse numbs you, lowers you, makes you question if you are normal or sane.

PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE A PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL SOUL, and that the problematic person is your father. HE IS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM- NOT YOU!!

Try and call the hotline - you won't believe that there are people who can really help. (I didn't believe there was a way to stop the abuse, but please believe me - THERE IS!!

I wish you all the best and be strong. You can come out of this truly okay.

Jan 21, 2010
Just a thought...
by: Mark

Charles,
I have a quick question for you, buddy. I may be way out of line here, so take time to think about this, but could it be that your father picked up on your sexuality (or believed that he did) when you were younger, and THAT'S the reason he was mean to you? Children can think they are hiding something from a parent, but sometimes a parent can still sense a secret. If your father is not okay with homosexuality in general, he might feel uncomfortable having a son who is gay. Could this be the reason for his unexplanable negativity toward you?
Even if I'm right, it still wouldn't make his treatment of you okay; NO ONE has the right to undervalue you or anything in your life. I only mention it because it might prove that this is HIS problem for not accepting who his son is, and maybe somewhere down the road, you can forgive him for that.
If I'm completely wrong, could Darlene or someone else write in and let Charles know? I don't want to hurt him with unsound theories. Thank you in advance.
I'm just trying to help you, buddy, because you deserve it.
Your buddy,
Mark

From Darlene: I suggest you read my article titled Why parents target a specific child for abuse for some possible explanations.

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