Comments for Child Abuse Story From Chandler

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May 13, 2008
You are courageous...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Chandler, you mentioned early on that your stepdad keeps telling you to "get over" what happened to you. Your stepfather has a great deal of problems of his own, and a great deal to answer for. He's in no position to tell you to get over anything; he himself has obviously not "gotten over" whatever he's had to deal with. That is evident in the way he's lashed out at you. The man should be held accountable for his vile actions against you; he should be in prison. But at the very least, he should not be permitted to be around children.

"Getting over" what happened to you is a far more complex issue than simply getting over it. You need help with this, Chandler, help that a counsellor can provide. If you can't arrange to see a counsellor in your area, consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still haunted by. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. Child Help is a valuable resource.

As for your mother, she may have lived in the same house, but she was totally absent. She betrayed you and abandoned you, her precious son. The fact that she took your stepfather's side, and then refused to protect you when she SAW for herself how abusive he was toward you, makes her every bit as responsible for the abuse as she would have been if she was the one inflicting the physical harm. She too should be held accountable for her actions AND inactions.

I am heartened to learn that you are now living in an environment that is much healthier and safer for you. It sounds as though the parenting skills your father learned after he spent time in jail for physically mistreating you sunk in. He's been given a second chance with you; I hope he continues to have enough respect for you as a human being to keep his own anger in check when he's dealing with situations that come up between the two of you. And I further hope that YOU have enough self respect to ensure you get help for yourself to ensure that your legacy is not that of continuing the cycle of abuse. You're worth far too much to allow that to happen, Chandler.

I wish you and your newly found family all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 16, 2008
I admire you!
by: Linda

Chandler, After reading your story, I have to tell you how much I admire the way you out smarted that abusive stepfather of yours. He deserves a prison sentence for life. You mother should keep him company there. Those two father figures in your life were overbearing control freaks. They are so insecure they have to beat up on helpless children to feel like men. You did the right thing getting out of there when you did. I hope life is better for you now.From the story you wrote, you sound like astrong person. Thank you for sharing your story.

May 19, 2008
Getting over it
by: Hayley

To a point, your step father is right, however, you have to do it at your own pace in your own way. If you get over what happened to you at the pace he demands you won't do it properly. Hopefully emailing about it will have taken the first step to recovery. with the right support and friends it is possible to recover from the horrendous ordeal you have been subjected to, though it may not feel like it at the time. It is awful to be beaten by a parent, and the way your stepfather is saying it, he thinks it's like getting over a bout of flu or laryngitis. You are too strong to not get over what has happened to you so make a start when you are ready to do so. Good luck Chandler, you can do it.

Hayley has a "room" on OpenSpace at Hayley's (Screwloose) Room.

Jun 07, 2008
Be Proud of Your Achievment!
by: Anonymous

Chandler,
The action you took to save yourself is indeed admirable. You showed true strength and the wounds will heal. Never forget to be proud of who you are and who I know you will become! Stay Strong and never lose your spirit Chandler! You didn't lose it before and you will always have to courage to hold on to it!

Jun 12, 2008
To Chandler:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm posting this in an effort to release the other comments currently in queue for this submission; there is a system glitch that has yet to be resolved. My sincere apologies for the delay in getting these comments to appear on this page. I realize it's an inconvenience, but rest assured, I continue to work at trying to fix this problem.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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