Comments for Child Abuse Story From C XX

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Mar 08, 2009
 Part 1: Some strong words...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You said, "I do believe I too was to blame because I and my friends all played a part in this." That's absurd! As a teenager, you could NOT be held responsible for what happened. You were not old enough to consent.

That pervert knew how young people could be coerced and manipulated, especially troubled adolescents. He knew that free-flowing booze, free tokens and the prospect of making money would likely yield him his sick desires.

It seriously concerns me that as a 29-year-old you are now placing responsibility on yourselves as children for the crimes that were committed against you. You weren't complicit; your youth and vulnerabilities were taken advantage of by a sex offender...my god...you are putting adult values on choices you made as a child; choices that you can't be held accountable for. There is a reason children are considered minors and that they need their parents to keep them safe from harm.

The reason I'm so adamant about this and why I'm so concerned for the convoluted way you are thinking of this is because if and when you have your own children, it is imperative that you understand they cannot be held responsible for actions such as these. Your parents were responsible for you; and they didn't do their job at protecting you. Besides, I can't help ask myself what was it that happened in your own childhood that would put you in a position of making such unhealthy choices as a 13-year-old in the first place. With all due respect, children who are raised with love and respect and dignity and are kept safe from harm do not usually turn into 13- or 14-year-olds who turn to booze, gaming and/or sex for money. And as hurt as your parents were in finding out what happened, it should have been disappointment in their own failings as parents, not failings in you as a child. I cannot be strong enough in my words about this. Your choices were unhealthy; but as a 13-year-old child you were NOT to blame. Your brain wasn't done developing at that age, and it didn't finish developing until about 4 years ago. So please, I beg you to rethink your position on this.

See Part 2: Pointing you to two URLs on this site... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Mar 08, 2009
 Part 2: Pointing you to two URLs on this site...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I urge you to check out at least these two of the many sexual abuse type pages on this site:I am SO glad one of the girls actually told someone, which eventually got to the proper authorities. This pervert's actions were criminal; he deserved every year he got, and then some.

I do thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. Your story provides an opportunity to reiterate how important it is for adults (and children) to understand that when children are offended against, it isn't their fault. EVER.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Mar 11, 2009
 Response to Darlene:
by: C xx

Darlene, I thank you for your response, however
I was raised with all the love in this world, I was giving up for adoption at birth and gave to a wonderful mother and father. Unfortunately when puberty started, I became a monster, I done everything to try and get my parents to reject me, but they never did. I drank, smoked, took recreational drugs... you name it, I done it.

People reading this, may think how selfish I was, but to a young adolescent dealing with the rejection of her natural mother, I was just trying to get my mum and dad to do the same.

Due to my reckless behaviour at this time, this is how I began hanging around the amusement arcade with my friends. My mother drove me to school and picked me up, but I went in the gates but never attended school.

I do agree with your comments, in that he was a sexual predator, who had found himself some vulnerable young females, but my mother or father could not have protected me from this, in any way. They done the very best for me in every way, they even tried taking me for private counselling, but I told him to ***K off!

Only someone who wants help, is willing to accept it and only those who want to change will! I graduated from university and managed to get my education back, however I will never get back that part of my childhood.... x
Mar 11, 2009
 C XX:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Congratulations on moving forward with your life and graduating from university. You have a great deal to be proud of.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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