Comments for Child Abuse Story From Brenda

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Jan 27, 2010
Brenda:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I didn't find real joy in my life until I found my spiritual Self. Not religion...spirituality; there is a huge difference between the two. When I connected with Who I Really Am, that's when true joy entered my life. And it allowed me to live in the Present moment. One thing I learned was that everything that happened to me was in my Past and I couldn't change any of it. That if I continued to focus on what I could not change, then I wasn't living in the Present. You can find joy, but you must change how you think first. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 27, 2010
There's always time to find joy through healing
by: Anonymous

Brenda, your dad and sister were and still are wrong. You are not stupid; you are smart, articulate and worthy of love and respect. What those brutes for a father and sister did to you was and still is pathetic and ungrateful. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good family. I, too, went through the same thing, except that it was my "brother" doing the same thing to me that your "sister" did to you. Have you tried counselling? BTW, I am glad that your husband is with you now because he is so sweet for doing that.

Jan 29, 2010
Great you have true friend NOW in your life.
by: maurice

Brenda, a true friend is the golden nugget each of us searches for until we find it. The emphasis is on the TRUE. We all have circles of friends and aquaintances like myself for instance about 33 now you know the 33rd one barely know me and so on and so on up to the one in the center. He is my golden one. Get my message Brenda. Darlene's comment is ever so loving and real to you personally. Indeed she has given you and us all plenty of food for thought. LIving in the NOW time is ever so important for you and your good husband/FRIEND. make a sense of that from taking Darlene words to your heart, because they are Spiritually from her hear to you. Her personalized comment to each of her visitors is an empowering one. Take action, move on into the present from the Now time. go less back and back into your past and dwell on what happened it will cripple you if you do. Yes, you have to be healed, Yes, you have to erase those awful memories of abuse. Talk to a counsellor, live well, laugh alot love much, have a healthy mind in a healthy body. Great you have found your golden nugget. great you have a good job. use them both to became a true spiritual I am me person. Read darlene uplifting comment to you.

Feb 01, 2010
Brenda, please know your not alone in life.
by: Elizabethe

Dear Brenda,
Thank you for sharing your sad childhood story.
I cried when I read it. I have my own sad childhood story. which someday I will comment on.
But you said something that I exp daily. the story plays over and over in our minds like a movie. O'h my. we have the right to feel bad for ourselves. I don't know what the answer is here. I do know that we should really be in counseling though.
well again, thank you Brenda

Feb 09, 2010
thanks
by: Brenda

Thanks for all the comments. I have started counceling and am hoping I can come to the point that I can live in the now and look forward to a happy future. I don't want to be stuck in the past. I want to be able to laugh and really feel the joy. I will keep you updated on my changes as I go through this letting go of the pain.

Feb 10, 2010
Do your best and leave the rest to GOD
by: maurice

Brenda, you'll be the winner, Darlene was after her theraphy, Be Brave, Be strong, Be persevering at your counselling. They say no pain no Gain, It will be a journey of pain for a time but that pain will turn you in a woman of hope and victory over your abuse. I can do it, I will do it, I must do it. Yes, Yes, Brenda say because I AM WORTH IT. UP, UP AND AWAY no turning back now. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body. I am behind you, so is Darlene and all her visitors who have read your horrific story of abuse. We're all for one and one for all in support of each other on this Haven of Hope site. Darlene is the best and so say all of us. Thank You for your comment to Brenda, Darlene, it did me a power of good too.

Feb 15, 2010
continued journaling
by: brenda

It was mentioned that if I find who I am I can begin living more joyful. However what if you don't like who you are. You see I still have that feeling deep down inside that says I am no good. No good for nothing like my father would say to me. But I do know better. I do know I have a good husband, a few nice friends, good job, and I am a good person. Why then do I feel like I've done something wrong. I have got to beat this. I have to let go of the past. I have to find a way to break free from my thoughts. I think I am a good person. I just always wanted my dad to see me as a good person. Why can't he see it. Why does he twist things around to make me feel horrible. Why can't he validate me. I hate him. I will keep trying to change my thoughts and continue to see the therapist. I am getting sick and tired of hanging on to the past. I have to let him go.

Apr 04, 2010
still trying
by: Brenda

I am still in pain and my thoughts are still running over and over in my mind like a movie. I just don't understand why my father continues to be mentally abusive to me. I wonder why I keep going back for more. I wish I could get mad enough and never have anything to do with him again. I don't know why I think things will be different with him and that he will change. He is a vindictive person. I know that if a friend did to me what he does to me I would never have them in my life. Why can't I let go? I need to let go in order to move on to be that happy, caring, and loving person I know I am. Going to counceling seems to be the same thing. I talk about the same thing. It is becoming like my thought a movie being played in my mind over and over. Is that the way couceling is suppose to me. I feel the conversations are the same. I want the joy in my life. I know I have other issues to work out other than my family. Such as never being able to have children because of medical issues. I know I would of been a loving mother and that pain will always stay with me. Why God is it so hard? Why is life so painful? I want to break free from my past but I feel at the same time I just want my dad to love me, understand me, and care about me. Why do I still seek his love when he has only brought me pain?

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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