Comments for Child Abuse Story From Beth

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Sep 27, 2007
Sounds like a psychopath
by: Darlene Barriere

Oh, Beth. The daily belt-whippings; the ceremonious way in which your father conducted them—he sought out reasons to impose those whippings, which indicates he enjoyed doling them out; the total disregard for any sense of fairness; the obvious lack of remorse for the endless pain he inflicted upon you; his complete lack of empathy; his total lack of conscience for his abhorrent behaviour—behaviour that he masked as "discipline"; all this points to a man who was a psychopath.

What your father and grandfather did to you and your brothers must have left you with unbearable emotional wounds. I sincerely hope you are getting some kind of support to help heal those wounds.

Oct 01, 2007
parents aid
by: suresh

Hie Well this is something bad for a dad to this at such a young age, because at this age kids they love to play and have fun and not just sitting doing chores,although he is a military person then it is bad for him to do so, although there is a mess it bad for each other to blame one and other and it is good to admit at that particular time and when he have found then it is bad the rest gets bitten too just because of one person's fault, and when in school it is bad for the principal to cane you'll guys instead it is good for him to give advise and not just whacking you'll guys, because when in a family if the dad loves to whack then the next close person is the grandfather and when the grandfather is the same then it is good for you'll guys to move out and make a complain to the police or to the public complain department and for sure they can help out.

Oct 11, 2007
Cruel Whippings
by: Julie

OMG - belt whippings are so horrible. My stepdad used to make me strip naked for whippings with the belt. And if he was really mad, he would whip my bare genitals as well as my bottom. The pain and embarassment were just horrible

Oct 23, 2007
Whippings are sooooo painful!
by: Dana

sry bout that..ill pray 4 yall every night n yall do that 2 thats the advice i have 4 yall n i hope ur doin better cuz when i hear stories like these i get sooooo MAD!

Oct 29, 2007
Something to do with Catholics?
by: Elaine (UK)

I was shocked, reading your story.

I was brought up in the 1970's by parents who are also Catholic. It was strange reading your story, because it made me wonder if ALL Catholics believe in corporal punishment.

My parents were very strict, and very rigid in their opinions. They seemed to think that "forceful" discipline was "for the best" and would often tell me that they had all their strict rules and punishments because they were "worried" and needed to "protect" me.

My mom went to a Catholic school as a kid, and she always told me that they used corporal punishment there. I was sent to a Church school too, where they regularly used the belt and the cane. My parents also believed strongly in smacking children.

Just like your story, my parents were excessive in their punishments. They reacted to every tiny thing in a really panicky, furious way. Most of the punishments were for minor and accidental matters - I can understand being punished for being deliberately bad - but like you, many punishments were for ridiculous things like being late for tea because I missed a bus, wearing clothes they did not like, putting the radio or TV on too loud (I didn't think it was), or (worst crime of all) "talking back".

Your family were wrong to behave this way. Discipline is not about abuse. I often think that parents who have to behave this way towards their kids, rather than talking and reasoning with them, are weak bullies. They are ignorant and abuse the power that they have over an innocent child. And to hide it behind religious beliefs is even worse. I have never read anywhere in the Bible that children should be hit, slapped or smacked, even if they are being "naughty".

Feb 11, 2008
I understand
by: Donna M.

Bare-bottomed shaming was the norm in our house too. Spankings normally happened in the living room no matter who happened to be over the house. It was a big ritual leading up to the spanking. First we had to retrieve the ruler, spoon, or belt (depended on mom or dad's mood) and explain exactly what we'd done to deserve punishment. Then pants, underwear and even socks or hose came off. Then we had to bend over the couch, hands on the arm rest, looking straight forward and actually ask to be spanked. We had to keep looking straight ahead as our eyes filled with tears while our buns got blistered. This would be the punishment for things like coming home ten minutes' late, answering in a "disrespectful tone" (which was anything they decided it was) or giving them or each other a "dirty look" (again, anything they decided qualified). There were six of us and someone got spanked every single day. Most days, 2 or 3 of us got it.

Jun 16, 2008
by: tina

i was spanked til i was 18.always on the bare always in the family room and always infront of the brothers and sister suffered the same fate.i had one older brother and sister and a younger brother.
the worse part of my spankings were always the embarassement side of it,knowing i could nt hide my privates from the eyes of my brothers.
i was caught spying on my brothers once and dad decided they should punish me.ian my older brother who was 14 at the time spanked me harder than my dad and caught me between my legs more than once. i still feel that embarassment today.

Jun 26, 2008
by: connie

i,m 61 so i was brought up in a different time,spanking was the main form of discipline at home and school not like today.
I cry for you beth i know the pain you have. I know the humiliation tina feels.
My father died when i was young and my mother was always unwell so my disciplinarian was the parish priest. I would be sent with a note from my mum and he would pray for me and punish me how he saw fit. When i turned 12 the spankings became worse i would have to strip completely "to be humbled befor God."
I knew i was being abused but did nt speak out and i hate myself for that.How many more kids went through what i did? He would insert his fingers in me as he spanked and he raped me when i was 14 .
He became a bishop!
Please Please if your being abused speak up,tell the police and never ever blame yourself.

Jan 27, 2009
Me too
by: Jean

When i was from the age of 4-18, my father beat me with his belt too. He had one of those large leather belts and the sound of the buckle still plays in my head. It seemed like 4-6 times a week, I'd find myself in his room or his bathroom, naked, waiting for my 30 strokes on my bare butt and legs. I would get a what he called a "beating" for ismple things such as not starting the dishes promptly or using a disrespectful tone in my voice. As an only child, I didn't have any other siblings to rely on. On one specific incident, I came home from school 20 minutes late. I had told him that I wanted to stop at the library and he told me that I never told him. So, when I got home, he was watching television with a few guy friends. I still remember how emmbarassing it was when he yelled at me and told me to "go into his bedroom, and he would undress me for my belt whipping." I was 15 at the time, and I was humiliated in front of his friends who thought it was funny. So, I stood in his bedroom and he came in and pulled off his belt. He approached me and pulled my pants off, then my panties, then my shirt and bra. I heard his friends laughing still when he started to belt my bare body all over. Stroke after stroke, he whipped me and he even got inbetween my legs. I remember too that I was told to bend over a chair, then his bed and finally I had to lay on the floor with my legs up while he belted my bare butt. After all my strokes were done and i was dressed, I was then told to go and appologize to his friends in the living room. His friends asked me "how my whipping was" and it embarassed me even more. It just seemed like my whippings were endless and I didn't stop getting them until I went onto college. Even at 18, I was forced to be naked and receive whippings with my genital area fully exposed to my dad.

Feb 13, 2010
by: Anonymous

thats nuts me and my brother kinda grew up the same way, but we grew up in the 90's

Mar 15, 2010
sexual abuse.
by: Anonymous

my dad did the same thing & its sexual abuse in my eyes. now he's a frail ill man who expects me to look after him. maybe i should give him a good whipping now he's the vunerable one.

From Darlene: I can only hope you are venting here, Anonymous. While I understand your frustration and your anger, and recognize that that anger is justified, to resort to elder abuse is to condone the same violence that was doled out to you. Please take the moral high ground. Returning violence for violence will not change anything that happened to you as a child, nor will it make you feel any better once it's been done; more than likely, the exact opposite.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Mar 27, 2010
Yes, I think it was sexual abuse
by: Anonymous

My mom always seemed to be suspicious of my father's intentions towards me. She even took me to the doctor once when I was six, and had him examine me to see whether I had been molested,(under the guise of checking to see whether I had a hernia). I once overheard a conversation which I was too young to understand at the time, but now I know it meant that she was forced to marry him because he had raped her and got her pregnant. So she kept a close eye on me and dragged me around with her wherever she went, even though she could not afford to support me. I was left alone with him once, however, when she was in hospital. I had come into the house to look for my ball,one afternoon. He made me strip naked, then took off his belt and beat me until there were welts all over my body. I was surprised, because I had done nothing to deserve this, and screamed while it lasted. Then I got dressed and went back out to play. I was eight years old. Now I realize this is a form of sexual abuse.

May 02, 2010
Poor Beth
by: Anonymous

My father was like that minus the corner and I was an only child. I never discipline my duaghters that way

Sep 25, 2010
I know how you feel
by: Holly

I'm 29 now, but growing up used to get whippings from my mom from 8-18. The older I got the harder they got. She used a belt and would always leave welts. When I was around 15 she started spanking me on the genitals as well, at first it was random like she just aimed wrong or something, but it eventually became was the worst feeling in the world when she would tell me to flip over and spread my legs. I never told any of my friends about it or anything, I was too embarrassed. I always thought I was the only one this happened to....I just know if I ever have a daughter I would NEVER even spank her on the bottom...I know how much it messed me up for years

Sep 28, 2010
by: Anonymous

that was very rude of your father to do that cause then you can tell that he took pleasure in doing it.

Jan 20, 2011
was I abused?
by: Anonymous

My father was a strict Baptist preacher and he would sometimes come home from work and it seemed to me that as soon as he would come home, he would look for some reason to beat all of us kids with a thick leather belt. Almost every day he would do this from the time we were three or four to the age of eighteen and nineteen. He would make us strip down to our bra and panties and make us lay across the bed. Then he commenced to beating us all over with switches or a heavy leather belt for about 15 lashes or more. There was always welts and some blood involved. If one of us got into trouble, we all got it. Once during a beating, I accidentally kicked him in his balls while I was flailing my legs. It pissed him off and he thought I did it on purpose, so he started beating me in my genitals with the belt. My brother and sisters lived in terror and fear of him. I dreaded being around him. My mother would try weakly to stop him, but he would always slam the door in her face as hard as he could so he could continue beating us.

Feb 23, 2011
by: andymac

am so sorry parents need to talk to thier kids. i hope your dad does expect for you to help when he getts old and sick

May 03, 2011
I am the same
by: Anonymous

I got the same thing, i lived with my father and older brother. My brother never got spanked, when we fought i was the one who always got punnished. My dad would spank me and then my brother. They bothe spanked bare bottomed with a heavy leather belt. sometimes they would smack my clothed bottom if i walked past just to remind me what to expect if i got in trouble. This was all for little things, like not doing the dishes quikely enough, or leaving things out. If i did some thing realy bad like swearing or lying or being disrespectful, then not only did i get a bare bottom wippen with the belt, but my father also caned me and whipped my gentiels. For little things i normaly got around 500 storkes and dobble that for more serious offences. i got a wippen about every day.

May 22, 2011
Get help if you need it
by: Anonymous

Quite possibly the most embarrassing experience of my childhood was the recurring beating with a belt I would receive from my stepfather on a regular basis, often for no reason at all. I was a chronic bedwetter as a child because of it, was afraid to tell anyone, even the police. As I approach thirty years old, I have come to terms with alot and improved the aforementioned situation, but never forget it. I empathize with anyone in such a similar situation and urge you to tell somebody, anybody who will listen. Nobody deserves to live like that. One thing my wife and I (who suffered from child abuse also) promised each other would never to treat our children like that. Anyone being abused should know it is WRONG and the person doing this to you is a COWARD. Tell anybody who can help you.

Nov 17, 2011
i know how you feel
by: Tye

I was the oldest out of three.. Im a female and I had two brothers...My mother was pretty much a single depressed parent who was very strict and religious.She believed in beatings.... Me and my brothers got beat for everything....I used to keep a calender to see how long i could go without pissing off my mom so she wouldn't beat me....But she would make us take off our clothes and lay over bed and she would beat us with the biggest belts...and if we moved she would sit on our head n back and beat us with sometimes the buckle and that would leave nasty black and blue mother is not a little woman, she is very heavy set like 250 seemed like she enjoyed it,bsides belts it was anything in sight, shoe, hanger,broom. I often wondered if this was right and i deserved it....i still struggle with that cuz she is a completely different person now that im an adult.

Dec 01, 2011
still spanked at 12
by: Anonymous

my dad spanks us now. but only when we deserve it. he always takes us to his office table in his study, we have to bend over his desk he lowers our pants then spanks us, he then tells us why we have been spanked then tells us we may go.we dont get grounded or anything like that, once we have been punished thats it

May 09, 2012
you all are not alone, im sorry had to go thru all of this horrible stuff
by: Anonymous

im shocked to find out that i am not alone. there is something that made me feel it was sexual, the way i would be shaking and terrified & he would say pull down your pants & i would be terrified & i would ask "underwear too? and he would glare at me & say "get them off!! he would hesitate between each strike as if to savor the moment & watch me quiver not knowin when he would strike my bottom again. ten had to kneel in the corner with bare bottom. why? the point is to humiliate, did i have to be bottomless. these fathers are sadistic & i pay to this very day, panic attacks,the panic was there as a child b/c my mom would tell me on a monday that my dad was comin over on fri to punish us & that was my time with my dad. my brother got it worse & im consumed with horrible guilt b/c my brother got it worse. i am so very sorry to read all these horrible stories & i hope we can all get thru this

Jun 05, 2012
to: Connie
by: Scott 1

Hi all. I know this tread is old, but still very relevent. I sometimes go over old posts and check for updates. Im curious if the person named Connie is still on here. I wanted to ask her has this bishop ever been held accountable and have you ever posted your "full" story on this site. I wish you had you deserve to tell what happened the world needs to know about abuse from such authority figures as in my case a teacher, your being a member of the clergy. If you read this Connie I hope you feel comfortable telling more.

Apr 28, 2013
also a military brat growing up in the 60's
by: Anonymous

My Father would have been thrown in jail had the things he did to me happened today. Bruises, black eyes, welts on my body, knocked out several times....etc.etc.etc. Twice he had to take me to the emergency room, I was told to tell the doctor that I fell out of a tree. He passed away a year ago....and I still hate him for the abuse I suffered from him.

May 13, 2013
Did not know at the time
by: John

From Darlene - Webmaster: John, I've moved your comments from here to a post in queue on my child abuse stories page. This is because comments left on this threat are strictly for Beth. It will take a number of days/weeks in order for your story to go live on the site. Keep watching for it under Child Abuse Story From John.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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