Comments for Child Abuse Story From Autumn

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Dec 11, 2013
Autumn:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You're not crazy. You're grieving on many levels of betrayal. Grief over no being believed by your family, in particular, you mother. Grief that your husband went behind your back when you were trying to protect your children. Grief that your children do not appreciate that you were protecting them. Grief that your husband brought another family into the picture who didn't believe you. Betrayal all around. Yet you invited your husband back into your life after all this betrayal...which must also have another layer of betrayal involved. Ask yourself this, Autumn. Can you change what happened? Can you control what others think, say or do? Unless you've discovered a way to change what happened, it's YOU who is living in prison. Not only the prison that was first created by the sexual abuse by your father, but then all the locks that went on afterward. You can't control the way others respond. And that's a good thing. Because if you could, that would mean that others could control the way YOU respond. Truth is, the only thing you DO control is how you respond. You can choose to stay in prison where your pedophile of a father, betrayer of a mother and all the other betrayers get to control you. Or you can choose to look at things differently. Change what you think, you automatically change how you feel. And this is about how you feel. If you choose to continue doing the same thing, being angry and upset, expecting that others will see things your way, then chances are, the prison will remain locked with you in it. You know the the truth, Autumn. You know what your father did to you. Choosing to see things differently around you doesn't change that knowledge. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 12, 2013
This may hurt and if so I am sorry
by: Anonymous

I read your story and I felt sorry for you. But...
I as I read it I felt that you had let the memories of the past have too negative an impact on the way you approached the future. I guess I read a combination of fear and blame.

To me one needs to forgive. One can not be burdened by the past. I believe you need to forgive your father for what he did. I believe you need to forgive your mother for appearing to not believe you. In fact to me that was the sadest part of the story. And you made a phone call. It did not go the way you had hoped and then you isolated her. More burden to carry. It goes on and on and eats away at the relationship with your husband and your kids.

I know what I have written may be seen as tough and cruel and for that I apologise partly but I hope that for your own sanity as much as for the sanity of those around you please forgive. Live for the future not burdened by the past.

Now I am not for one second trivialising or denying what your father did. Not at all. But as I read your story that stopped a long long time ago. You now have to decide do you let it eat you up or do you acknowledge it as a part of your PAST and move into the future with it simply a memory of something that happened. Something you could not control and was not your fault.

From Darlene - Webmaster Autumn, in addition, please consider reading my article Forgiveness is For You

Feb 27, 2014
I admire you Autumn
by: Anonymous

Betrayal upon betrayal is so painful words cannot describe. I read a forensic psychologist who stated that the part of the brain that acknowledges pain, cannot know if the repeated 'stabs' are physical wounds or not. I hear your feelings sound like mine, repeated stabs to the heart and the back, many, many times. What has helped me a great deal is to know that my husband made mistakes too - they were unintentional, he carries remorse and regret that he didn't know everything earlier. Saying my loved one made a mistake, takes away all the blame I previously felt. I have also read that we can't worry and have gratitude at the same time, it is impossible for our minds. I don't know if the daily practice will help you too, but I find writing a journal every day about my physical health and my beautiful sons, the enjoyable and happy things we do or they do, my pride that they are such good people etc. I go into great detail,as much as I can think of and write every day for what is good in this moment.I wish peace for you and complete enjoyment of the lovely Family you now have. Hazel xx

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