Comments for Child Abuse Story From Ashley4

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Feb 17, 2009
 Some very stern words...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I applaud that you spoke up about the abuse you've suffered at the hands of your father. I do hope that doing so will prevent your step-siblings from suffering the same fate you did.

I would be remiss if I didn't comment on what you are planning for your future...

Ashley, you're seventeen years old. Given your age, the problems that you have faced and continue to face with depression, fear of men (including your own fiance) plus a host of others, you are in no position to be engaged to be married to anyone.

You said you told your family this past Christmas about the abuse your father inflicted on you. I would hope that your family would ensure you are in some form of counselling in order to help you deal with the repercussions of that abuse, and that your father is facing legal consequences.

Furthermore, I sincerely hope your family is stepping up to ensure you don't make a serious mistake with your life by deciding to go from one miserable family situation into a married one that could be just as damaging to you. If you love your fiance, I strongly suggest you wait several years before making your way down the aisle. At seventeen, your brain isn't done growing yet; and it won't be done growing until you are somewhere around the age of 25. At seventeen, you cannot predict the consequences of your actions, and as such, you cannot even begin to understand the challenges you are facing if you marry at such a young age. You don't know what you don't know.

This can't be about a romantic notion that together you and he will overcome anything and everything; that's pure bunk! I suspect you're planning this because you somehow believe that your heart condition leaves you with only a short while to live; this is not a good reason to marry. I cannot be strong enough in my urgings for you to get into some type of counselling and get yourself healthy before you even consider getting married. Yes, these are strong words I offer; but they come from a place of knowledge, understanding and caring.

Ashley, I do thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, and I honestly and truly hope you will reconsider what you are planning with this boy. It is not in your best interest to get married at such a young age. What's in your best interest is getting yourself healthy, both mentally and physically.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Feb 17, 2009
 not alone
by: Mrs R

Hey Ashley, Congratulations you are a SURVIVOR you have done something that I was not able to do at your age. It is not an easy decision to make "To Tell" I tried when I was younger and my family chose to not believe me, they reinforced that I was bad, and a liar and was just trying to cause trouble. Also I had it driven in to me the fear of what would happen if I told. I come from a different culture where men are revered, my dad was very powerful and well respected, there was no way any one would believe me.
The only way change can happen is when things are out in the open, the more people are aware of something the more help there will be. You probably do not realize how many young people you are helping by telling your story and pointing out how you spoke up.
As time passes the pain will lessen, it will never completely go away but you will learn to live with it and it will make you a stronger person, very understanding to others and be very compassionate. These are wonderful qualities to have. I do encourage you to look into counseling if your not already receiving this. Chances are you will not be able to manage your pain by your self or even with a boyfriend, you need someone that is used to dealing in these issues. Never give up on yourself you have nothing to be sorry about. It took me a long time to forgive myself, but I do I know I was not to blame, I was innocent just like you.
Be healthy Ashley, smile and be kind to yourself.
Feb 18, 2009
 help
by: patrick

hey you did a great job of telling your family about your father!!!!!!! and i wish i had the guts to do what you did

Note from Darlene: Patrick, you'll note I've edited your comment. I have a strict policy about leaving personal information on the pages of my site. In order to ensure my visitors stay safe, I do not permit email or private addresses in comments or submissions. This is for your safety as well as for the safety of all who visit and contribute here. I thank you for your understanding.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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