Comments for Child Abuse Story From ashamedgreg

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Apr 21, 2009
 You DID NOT make it happen!
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Greg, I bristled twice. The first time at the moniker you've chosen for yourself; the second time when you said you "made it happen". You most definitely DID NOT make it happen...you can shake that from your head right now. And you have nothing, I repeat NOTHING to be ashamed of. What happened to you as a child was sexual abuse. You were a child; he was the adult. As an adult, HE had all the power. And he certainly used that power.

From what you've described, your offender was a pedophile in the true sense of the term. Pedophiles are only attracted to children for their sexual needs. He rebuffed you when your body betrayed you—and that IS what happened, Greg...your body betrayed you when you reached an orgasm; something that often happens when a person is being sexually assaulted, especially boys—probably because he no longer saw you as a child afterward.

There was a dynamic present between you and your offender, Greg, a dynamic that he controlled using your youth, your naiveté, and yes even your body. It comes as no surprise that you would long for that dynamic to continue.

During those four years, he taught you lies. He taught you a twisted sense of love and a warped sense caring. He used sexuality to enforce those lies. And not only did he shower you with those perverse lies, he abruptly rejected you during a time of great vulnerability, leaving you to wonder what you had done wrong. You did nothing wrong, Greg. Sex feels good...this pedophile knew that and used it against you for his own perverse pleasure, and then cast you aside when you no longer provided him with pleasure.

What must happen now for healing to begin is for you to understand the dynamics of what this man did to you and how he manipulated your sexuality, your preferences, and your understanding of what love and caring is. Once you begin to understand all this, you can then look at ways to re-program your belief system. This man did not love you; he assaulted you. This man did not have your best interest at heart; he was a sexual predator who only cared about his own perverse pleasure. This man should not be free; he should be in prison for the crimes he committed against you, and in all likelihood, continues to commit against other vulnerable children.

See Part 2: A couple of pages to read on this site... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Apr 21, 2009
 Part 2: A couple of pages to read on this site...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Greg, I strongly recommend some form of counselling. I know that sounds trite, but a counsellor is in a far better position to help you than I am or that any of my visitors are. I will, however, point you toward a couple of pages on this site.Perhaps these pages will help you better understand your situation, and thus help you put the blame where it belongs: on your abuser. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Apr 21, 2009
 Listen to Darlene
by: JWC

ashamedgreg. Pay heed to what Darlene says in her post. For whatever reason she has a thorough grasp on all aspects of child abuse and always seems to know the proper advice to give child abuse victims.
Apr 22, 2009
 Heed the loving words of Darlene
by: Anonymous

Greg, my heart went out to when I read your story. I've know many who were in your situation. no comparrisons Greg because what happened to you is sadly waht you have lived with all these years now. Oh the subtly of these pedphile's they prey on innocent boys/girls ever so gently almost re-assuring the boy/girl is doing the right thing. Oh Greg I do emphatise with you. That sick/sick uncle of your for four years took away your innocence. leaving you upset within yourself about it all. Greg, new beginnings for you. Read and heed Darlene's words to you, she sure is and angel of God for you and all her visitors. The good thing for me and maybe you might take note of it. She has walked her walk of being abused, sought help and is now the giver of professional help to each of her visitors to her site. She has great stewardship over her site and really cares and safeguards you and me and all her visitors with her motherly and sensitive words of support and encouragement. Greg, you'll be all the better for taking heed of what she has related to you in her comments. Greg begin to build up your own self worth and esteem from today. I'm Special, I'm beautiful and always believe in yourself GREG
May 15, 2009
 ITS OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by: K.C.

Greg it is not your fault that your uncle did that to you. And just because it felt good didn't mean it was ok and it was his fault of what happened to you. Don't feel bad about it. Please! It's going to be ok. I hope that you will be ok.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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