Comments for Child Abuse Story From Arienna

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Feb 06, 2009
Most sex offenders ARE either family members or family acquaintances, NOT strangers...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Arienna, denial is what helped you cope with something that was otherwise unbearable to remember. What happened to you was criminal. The mind is an amazing thing: you will only remember what you are capable of enduring. I know that may sound ridiculous right now, but it's true. You are much stronger than you think. Right now you are dealing with the residual of the sexual abuse.

You didn't say whether or not your family is aware of what this man did to you. They NEED to be aware of it. Other children are at risk by this man. And don't for one second think that you were the only target because you were the only girl; molesters don't necessarily molest only girls. But even if he molests only girls, he's likely finding others to molest. Sex offenders don't change their ways.

As for your personal situation, your memories won't suddenly and miraculously go away as you get older. As you mature, your mind will process what happened to you based on the fact that you will have gained more understanding and experience. Don't make the mistake of applying more mature values to what you did and did not do as a little girl. None of what happened to you was your fault; don't ever lose sight of that. Blame lies fully on the shoulders of this perverted family member.

Furthermore, as you reach various ages and stages of your life, more memories may be triggered. This is why it is so important for you to talk to someone you trust. At sixteen, you are not in a position to be able to deal with this by yourself; even full grown adults can't deal with this stuff on their own. You will continue to have trust issues with boys, and dating will continue to be problematic until you get some type of counselling for what you endured. Not all men are molesters, Arienna; but if you don't get counselling, the horrible memories will creep into the picture every time you are with a boy. You don't deserve to live this way.

I suggest you start by contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the sexual abuse. And talk to your parents about what happened and about what you are now dealing with. If you really and truly don't believe you can talk to them, then turn to a teacher or counsellor at school. There is help available for you, Arienna, but you must first take that necessary first step in order to get access to that help.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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