Comments for Child Abuse Story From April1

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Jan 21, 2010
April:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. Let's be very clear here...your stepfather was not disciplining you or your brother; he was abusing you both. What he did to you both was inappropriate and seriously harmful. And your mother was complicit, at the very least an enabler. Raising a hand to a child ALWAYS has risks, both physical and emotional risks. I urge you to seek out some form of counselling in order to help you deal with the repercussions of coming from an abusive home.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 21, 2010
The sooner, the better...Darlene is right!
by: Anonymous

April, I agree with Darlene. What your parents did to you guys is not discipline; in fact, it is abuse. They are more of controllers to you and your siblings than disciplinarians. None of you guys deserve that kind of treatment.

Jan 22, 2010
Good on you. You sure are the best.
by: maurice

April 1. What great advice you gave to Parents when you said, Quote Parents be careful of the type of punishmnet you use on your children. That in turn April 1 brought out from Darlene's heart words worthy to take note of. especially for all he visitors who were beaten with instruments on their bottoms as a supposeinly a form of discipline. I always find it encourageing to hear that spanking/beating on the bottom is abuse. For a good part of my life I never accepted that as a fact. So April 1 your story is truly real to many of Darlene's visitors and indeed to Darlene herself. Thank you, please LOVE yourself enough to go and get counselling. It will empower you to truly believe in yourself after abuse. Darlene is a sure witness of the fact that there is life after abuse. She truly re-named her book from Victim to Victory. NOW she know the real value of counselling because she received real heling from her own abuse through it. April 1. You too can be a winner over abuse. I CAN: I WILL: I MUST: BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT.

Jan 22, 2010
spanking common?
by: Scott Canada

Hi April
I think today, spanking isn't as common as back in the old days when I was a kid. Its either that or adults keep it much more quiet, private and secret. Here anyway.
Yes spanking was alive and well in the 80's. I was a paperboy through the 80's as a teen and in this small community I personally came upon 2 separate child beatings in progress, years apart. You dont have to be a rocket scientist to know that it was a belt on bare skin. I remember at the time thinking that wow, this stuff still goes on? I felt sick!
I was forced to knock on doors to deliver the paper in person. A new policy. I actually interrupted this (church going)mother beating her child. She had to stop and come get the paper, belt still in hand,as I could hear the poor girl in the next room, through the open window sobbing while I stood on the doorstep. It was awful, witnessing such events and even overhearing can be quite traumatic.

Now I grew up in the late 60's through the 70's where spanking at home was very common and often witnessed. I got mine at school though. I often wonder what the children in my classroom felt and thought while I was getting spanked by my teacher. Right there in front of them all, bare bottomed! As they sat in their seats and I up front over her lap. And it was a long drawn out ritual with her, and never over quick. Many smacks. You see, spanking was so common back in those days that even teachers could beat/spank their students. Any adult for that matter. The strap was used in school,usually on the child's hand. I got the strap from that teacher too but not on my hand, I got it on my bottom. It was after she removed my pants and underwear. Like usual,across her bare lap. Early 70's, I was only 8.

I cant help thinking about something that Darlene wrote a while back and I have to ask.
Am I the person I am today because of the abuse or in spite of it? Many of us here give valuable advice that only comes from the knowledge and wisdom gained from first hand experience. Sadly.
April, you were abused. We were abused!

Jan 23, 2010
We are all the stronger after your story.
by: maurice

April 1 what strong positive feelings your story brought out in us who were abused by having our bare bottoms spanked/beaten as children and teeenagers. Darlene gave you and us all re-asuring that such beating was abuse and encouraged you to receive counselling to begin your journey out of it. Each time I read comments from Darlene to her visitors I get great peace of mind that I dealt with my spanking/beating adequately to be who I am today. Yes counselling was the stepping stone to my peace of mind and happiness. Those awful days in my life come back to haunt me from time to time less frequent as I live my life to the full each day I wake up. Your story evoked a question from Scott which I find very valueable right NOW. When Scott asks am I the person I am today because of abuse: or in spite of it. From Victim to victory answers that question for me. Darlene proves to me that she is the person she is today because of it and in spite of it. She's my example, I've no doubt from my little knowledge of her abuse that she was more severely beaten than I was and humiliated and worked through it all to be who she is today. Each one of us who were abused in this way has had his/her own way of letting go, putting it in perspective from the day we began to receive help through counselling. Scott I hope I am all the stronger for how I came through my healing process. I began at 33 years of age and I have not looked back since. As I say I am haunted from time to time but because of the counselling and my own will power I have learned to live my life to the full. It was a powerful Question Scott. Thank you. April 1 be brave, be strong and persevere in getting help and counselling and hopefully sooner than later you'll answer scott's question in a positive constructve way. Our hearts of love for each other are strong. We want what is best for us all NOW to get on with our lives. Sadly Scoott I don't think parents/guardians of children/teenagers a smaller percent will always use spanking as their form of correction/discipline. Darlene, Thank YOU. none of us will drift too far into the negative if we use your words constructively to Live well, laugh alot, love much. and Say I can, I will, I must, simply because I AM WORTH IT. Be gentle on yourself and your bottoms.

Jan 23, 2010
Spanking still exists
by: Videk

Where I live (Eastern Europe)spanking is still a normal way of discipline. I am 12 and some of my friends get spankings, usually only with hands. My parents are more strict, they say that only the belt or cane can punish me well, I get it twice a month in average on my bare legs and bottom. The strange is that my fiends find it very funny and make jokes on it cos I always wear shorts in school and they tease me for the belt or cane marks on my legs.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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