Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anonymous77

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Aug 20, 2013
Anonymous:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

The guilt and shame you are taking on are not yours to bear. The pain you now experience is somewhat attached to the adult values you now put on what happened and your perceived part in it. But what you forget, what all survivors forget, is that you were a little girl when this happened. A little girl who was vulnerable. A little girl who was not responsible for that vulnerability. And what is also so easy to overlook is the fact that sexual abusers groom their victims. They look for children who are vulnerable, and then they take advantage of that vulnerability. They even use it against them, oftentimes using those vulnerabilities in threatening ways. But even when they don't, even when the child supposedly "willingly" goes to their abuser, that does not make what happen the child's fault. And yes, I most certainly understand how and why you blame yourself for the other child who was abused. But once again, by taking responsibility for what happened to the other child, you are putting adult values on what you did and didn't do. You kept the secret because you were young and vulnerable. You are not responsible for the abuse the pedophile inflicted on that child...the pedophile is because he was the adult. He was the one with all the power and control. HE alone is responsible. And yes, you can easily brush that off by saying, "But if I had told then he wouldn't have been able to abuse someone else." Guess what, Anonymous, you don't know that...you don't know what you don't know. You, YOU Anonymous, did the very best you could given your age, your needs at the time and your vulnerabilities. That made you a little girl, NOT a target for further abuse. Take a really good look at a 10-year-old. Study their mannerisms. SEE how young that age really is. Then try blaming that child for being sexually abuse, and see how far you get. It's your perspective that needs re-framing, Anonymous. For goodness sake, ease up on your 10-year-old self. She was a beautiful little girl who was abused by a sick and twisted excuse for a human being. You needed love, not sexual abuse. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Aug 21, 2013
just my opinion
by: Anonymous

I am thinking about these stories the after the fact what happens young or old , I always was advised in life any problems not just abuse just life journey type things that life is a process and things change if you want them too I feel now they change naturally in life as you go thru stages , too and others try to change you if you let them or not let them. I also thought about roles people play and the thing you should know if you did aa or alonon the role playing , I feel that labeling your self as a drunk or an addict might not exactly be this or a cutter I feel that a competent doctor or counselor would have told you this is a solution temporary to ease your pain till you get to the next stage of or step of your new life or honestly your real life with out the labels with out the abusers, with out the drugs or within the LEGAL BOUNDRIES OF THINGS is all you need to go by the law , now morally if you choose to drink with in boundries of what you learned or what you know you can do see that's your choice I feel that along with medications ok but not husband not anyone but the law your doctors maybe if they are good you like them is your choice see the abuse you felt like you didn't have a choice ok in this life real you do have a choice and you took responsibility for yourself . I just feel that roles play a huge huge part in your recovery from the abuse I feel that you are not an alcoholic or a drug addict or a cutter I just feel in time if you quit letting others play roles in your life you need to study that alanon stuff an quit letting others controlling you that way labels and continue to get over the abuse enjoy your life figure out who an where you are in life an if the kids an family label you

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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