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Dec 21, 2007
You are NOT a failure . . .
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

You don't deserve to be treated this way. Your parents owe it to you to love and to protect you, regardless of how you were conceived. You are precious, and you should be loved as such. You should never have to hear that you were mistake. The "mistake" is the way your parents view you. Shame on them!

Do parents single children out for abuse? Yes, some do; which may be the case with you, only your parents are allowing you to be assaulted by your sibling. Given the long term nature of this treatment, there is an argument for neglect. I wrote an extensive article on the phenomena for this site at Why Parents Target a Specific Child for Abuse.

Regarding your "perfect" guy . . . when you broke up with him and he threatened you, that made him the most IMPERFECT guy out there! Run, don't walk, from any kind of threats from a mate. Yes, you need some help with learning to trust—an understandable situation, given your life at home—but that does not give anyone licence to threaten you. Stay away from him!

You said you had a teacher who kept trying to feel you up and kept touching you when you were 7. If this teacher is still teaching, tell someone you trust—a counsellor at school, for example—what he did. He is likely still doing this to other children. Don't ever NOT tell when someone touches you inappropriately, no matter what!

As for self-harming, you have to stop. I understand why you do it; it's far less painful to feel physical pain than it is to deal with the emotional pain. Don't let the way your parents and your sibling feel about you infect the way you feel about yourself. Treat YOURSELF with the respect and dignity that are so lacking in your life right now. You deserve that.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Dec 22, 2007
Dear Anonymus, From another Anonymus
by: Anonymous

You call that "nothing"? You're idea of "nothing" sure as hell is something--something cruel and unfair. Just to survive that as a child is a feat.
I don't know what your parent's problems are--and they DO have problems, that much is obvious. Contraception fails ALL THE TIME; there's a million surprise babies all over. Them using that as an excuse was just a way for them to say "Too bad for you, it's not OUR problem" when it WAS their problem.
You DID NOT DESERVE to be hit or yelled at. My father used to throw things at me, not because I was "bad", but because I was an easy target. No way did your sibling "charm" your parents to believe him every time. They chose to abandon you, because they couldn't see past their own needs.
Being molested was something I had to go through too--this guy who was just as screwed up as I was, and I was screwed up from years of abuse and bullying, used me like sex doll. He was constantly pressuring me when we were alone, but he acted like he hated me in public. Nobody deserves to be molested or hurt--it just doesn't work that way. People just say "well, they must have had it coming" because if they don't, then THEY start feeling uneasy that it could happen to them.
I know how it feels not to be able to trust anybody. I was always afraid that they would see what was "wrong" with me, and leave me alone. I thought I was damaged--I still feel like that sometimes. It's nearly impossible to get over this kind of thing on your own, not because you're "you" and something wrong with you, but because it's just too much pain for any one person to deal with.
I wish I could go over there and hug you, because you deserve that and so much more.

Dec 23, 2007
How Could They?!
by: Francine

That is so sad! Did you ever forgive them? Well, my brother would beat me up, too, and no one ever did anything about it. One time, I told my grandma what my brother did to me and she was like, "You're just dreaming. Snap out of it because whatever your 'favorite' brother did to you is okay!" I told my uncle, too, and all he ever said was that whatever my brother did to me is "okay" and that my brother could do whatever he wanted to me, and that it was my brother's "divine" right to punish me. Ha! I know that it isn't! I really feel you, dear. And no, you are NOT a failure! You are a smart person, don't ever let anyone think otherwise! The only failure and stupidity that I see comes from your parents, your sibling and your ex-boyfriend cuz it's their own fault, not yours! You might want to try some counselling.

Feb 10, 2008
ahhh
by: The Fourteen Year Old Girl

I'm soo sorry. I kind of know what your going through. Hunny. You seriously do NOT deserve this. Did You Comment my story? I think you are the one who commented mine. (about me fighting my dad constintly) if you have a myspace or something we should talk this stuff over. Doesn't it feel so much better to just let it out! Just remember there is many people in the world that love you. People like me even though I don't even know you. haha.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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