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Mar 01, 2009
Part 1: Your phobias and your seductive behaviours...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Anonymous, I'm delighted to learn that you are no longer anorexic-bulimic. I do, however, wonder how those behaviours were rectified without the help of a professional, or at the very least, some type of self-work.

It is obvious that your father showed very poor judgment when he allowed you to view a corpse with entrails exposed. You were way too young to be able to deal with an exposure like that. As a result, you experienced terrible nightmares. It is quite likely your fear of amputees is in some way connected to that.

You said your mother yelled at you at lot and that she said bad things about your friends, etc. when she thought you loved them more than her. If this is really the case with your mother, clearly she has her own set of problems to resolve.

With regard to the sexual assault by your cousin, if he was so willing to do what he did with his underage cousin, he is likely sexually assaulting other girls now. What he did to you should be reported to the authorities, if for no other reason, in order to help prevent someone else getting assaulted.

Your attention-getting sexualized/seductive behaviour at school left you dealing with serious respect issues. Anonymous, you must have respect for yourself before anyone will have respect for you. I can't say why behaved so seductively when you were in high school; there are way too many variables and possibilities that might or might not have something to do with your father, especially if he wasn't around for you all that much while you were growing up. As a doctor, perhaps his time at home was very limited. But I don't know that. What I do know is that the word "slut" has become a favourite descriptive word that is often used inappropriately, one that I find highly offensive. You are now 22 years old. Focus on self-respect by ensuring you don't put yourself into situations that may cause problems for you now and in the future.

See Part 2: I can only address what is pertinent to child abuse and its effects... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 01, 2009
Part 2: I can only address what is pertinent to child abuse and its effects...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

As you can see, I removed the segment that detailed your compulsion and obsession and the questions you had about them. I did this because I am not in a position to answer. One, because (regretfully) I no longer have the personal time it takes to answer questions for my visitors; and two, even if I were in a position to answer, the fact is, your questions were not in keeping with my site concept, as they were not about child abuse or its effects. I can only say to you that sexual preferences can be imprinted based on trauma and/or experiences as a young child, but that they can also be hard-wired into the person, meaning they were born with them. If you are addicted to what you say you are addicted to, then it is likely interfering with your ability to move on with your life. I suggest you seek out the services of a therapist to help you deal with that addiction.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir



Mar 01, 2009
smacking wrong
by: Scott Canada

I agree with you.....your buttocks are private and yes having even just your pants smacked is embarrassing.Spankings happened to me and trust me when I say I know how you feel.It is something that effected my life and I am truly grateful for this site giving me a place to tell (my) story. As for your experiences with corpses,I just dont think a child needs to see that. Just my opinion.I do find that disturbing. Thanks for sharing your story and all the best in the future.

Mar 01, 2009
Be Aware
by: Mrs R.

Dear Anonymous, My reaction to this is that your parents have some serious issues of their own that they passed on to you. It sounds to me that may be your father does not give your mother enough attention so she wanted it from you which if this was the case this was not fair of her to use you like that and put her neurosis on you. I sense that they made you feel insecure which caused you to have many fears.
It was very wrong of your relative to abuse you in the way he did, but never think that at any time you were to blame.
You state that you are feeling much better, I do encourage you to look into some counseling if you have not had any, as a victim myself I had several years of counseling, after trauma like you have been through I really believe you would benfit in good support. Take care of your self and be aware of how you are feeling inside.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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