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Mar 23, 2008
Additional information and mistrust of counsellors...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

It might be helpful for you to read through some of my information pages on this site:You had no power as a child. As an adult, you have power. In fact, you have ALL the power. As an adult, if you decide to seek out some form of counselling—and I strongly recommend you do—a counsellor is not in a position to report the abuse that you talk about in your sessions. Someone might get into trouble ONLY if YOU decide to disclose to the authorities what would be termed historical child abuse. You know deep down that you need help dealing with all the emotions trapped inside, so don't allow your fears to interfere with a decision to seek out help.

You may also be fearful that a counsellor will not believe you when you tell him/her that your mother was a sex offender who molested you. If that happens, it's time to change counsellors. Some women do molest, just as some men do, although society does not want to admit this. Counsellors are human, and as such, are subject to human judgment and human error. Try not to group all counsellors as untrustworthy. Some are not to be trusted (just like some humans are not to be trusted). But most counsellors take their code of ethics very seriously, and can be trusted.

Just to close, I must also say that if you suspect your mother is making your sister ill in order to gain attention and sympathy for herself, you should not sit idly by. You really should report your suspicions, even if your sister is an adult. If she's still a minor, you have a responsibility to report. Not reporting would make you an enabler of abuse.

I sincerely wish you all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 29, 2008
Therapy Advice
by: Brandy Shirley, M.A.

Hello Anonymous,

I wanted to respond to your story because I believe that I can give you some encouragement to seek out counseling. I am a mental health therapist and work regularly with schizophrenia and other mental health issues.

Since you're no longer a child, a counselor could not report your story to the authorities or anyone else, unless you sign a consent for someone to know about your therapy sessions. The therapist will explain all of that during your first session.

Therapy can feel stressful and uncomfortable during the first few sessions. However, as time goes by, you'll begin to develop trust and assurance that you can open up more. If you do not feel comfortable with the therapist, mention this to him or her and look for someone else. A good therapist will be non-judgmental, will listen more than talk, will give you advice when you're in need, will not be close minded, will be respectful, and will be there to guide you into improving your life and well-being.

I highly recommend that you seek counseling in order to deal with your schizophrenia and your sexual abuse issues. This will help you recover! I wish you the best and commend you for sharing your story!

Mar 31, 2008
Please consider...
by: Elaine Riley

I am very sorry to hear your story; one of many reports of abuse on this site, so you know you are not alone. I hope that this will help you to recognise that your distress is a natural result of what you have experienced, and is not something to be ashamed of.
I'm a qualified Social Worker (DipSW) and have worked in Mental Health Services. I am also a survivor of childhood abuse, who, like you, had a mother with mental health issues.
You have been through some disturbing childhood experiences, which have left you traumatised, uncertain of yourself, and of the world around you. You write that the abuse you experienced was not as bad as some; but then, all abuse is bad.
I suspect that your experiences have left you confused, and with conflicting feelings. We all grow up hoping that our parents will love and care for us, not hurt us or let us down. However, I believe that we all have an internal ideal of what a parent is like, and we are all capable of giving love, and want to love our parents, no matter what. This can make us very confused when confronted with a parent who is also an abuser.
I really hope that you can find the courage to see a counsellor, because having the opportunity to talk through your past issues could give you the breakthrough you need. I note you say you've had eating problems in the past. Perhaps this was an inappropriate coping strategy? Perhaps you could try to discover new methods of coping?
I see that you say you have Schizophrenia yourself, and regularly take medication. I applaud you for this. It is a brave thing to admit, and your recognition of this issue is what a therapist might term "INSIGHT". By having insight, it means that you are able to recognise that you have issues that you are willing and keen to seek assistance to deal with. This is a very positive sign - many diagnosed Schizophrenia sufferers do not posess insight.
Your insight, combined with a helpful and supportive counsellor may enable you to make sense of your past. Do not feel ashamed, or to blame. You are in control, and can pick a counsellor suitable for you. If you do not feel comfortable, you can change counsellor.
I know you feel washed out, but you are very brave. Feeling washed out can be one of what are called the "negative symptoms" of Schizophrenia. By taking medication you are showing determination to try and overcome this. Keep up this good work.

This commenter has a "room" on OpenSpace on this website. To read her various entries, check out Elaine's Room.

Apr 03, 2008
I Love You
by: Francine

I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =[[[[[[[[[

Apr 22, 2008
by: Anonymous

first of all just wanted to tell you that there is somebody you can thrust and will never fail you. JesusChrist he is teh only one who will help you and heal your heart. The only thing you have to do is ask him no matter were you are or what time it is. He is there with his ear in your mouth just waiting for you to ask.

your are worth alot and so thoes your sister. Help her not to suffer the same way you did.

well God Bless you and remmenber he LOVES YOU!!

take care,

May 09, 2008
love to you
by: Anonymous

you sound like a beautiful sensitive loving person. i'm sure you are. it is sad that anyone, especially children, must suffer as you do. my healing thoughts are with you as i type. i am now reading "a new earth" by eckhart tolle. it has helped to bring great healing to my life, particularly with regard to family pain. perhaps it might help you.
love to you.

Aug 03, 2009
getting help
by: Anonymous

you should get help. Therapists have to keep things confindential if youer'e over 18 and sign a waiver.

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E-book: Victim To Victory

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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


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