Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anonymous Girl

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May 04, 2009
Blocked memories...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I am not at all surprise that your step-grandfather has sexually assaulted other girls. Child molesters will find ways to be with children in order to satisfy their psychopathology. They do not change their ways until they are stopped. If he's been charged twice already, it seems to me your family already knows what he is.

Repressed or blocked memories are not at all uncommon when it comes to child abuse, especially sexual abuse. The human brain is a remarkably complex organ. When something is too painful to deal with, the brain can switch off the memory of it in order to protect the person's psyche. What often happens later on in life is that an event or a stage in life (an intimate relationship, an episode specifically related to, or a reminder of, the abusive incident(s), etc.) can trigger the memories. The unlocking can come in the form of flashbacks, bits of remembrances, dreams, nightmares, or a combination of these. They can eventually lead to full recall.

I do not recommend you be on your own to deal with this. While the support of loved ones is important during this time, the services of a therapist who specializes in repressed sexual abuse memories is highly advisable. It's not enough that your boyfriend is understanding and supportive; he must also realize that intimate encounters may well trigger more memories for you. You must both know how to deal with such possibilities and the emotional residue in order for your relationship to withstand all that will be affected.

The brain does not release what you cannot handle, Anonymous Girl. Difficult as this is to accept, remember that you are now safe from the reaches of this sex offender. He can no longer assault you. He can no longer harm you. But reliving the memories is overwhelming for you, which is why you need professional help. A therapist can help to make you feel safe and his/her care will allow you to deal with the emotional repercussions of what you remember. The first step has been writing your story here. The next step is finding a therapist you feel safe and comfortable with, someone you can trust. You didn't deserve to be sexually assaulted; you DO deserve help in dealing with the fact that you were.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 04, 2009
blocked memories can cause unsafe self help methods.
by: maurice

Anonymous, great on two accounts, you've found Darlene's site and a boyfriend who listens to you and believes you. Move on now with Darlene's wonderful words to you. you have the help and support of your boyfriend and hopefully one or more trustworthy friends who will hold your hand as you seek the healing help you need. You are in a very safe place now in yourself. you have acknowledged that your step grand father was a known sexual abuser of little girls like you. Bad, bad man. You did not deserve to be abused by him. It was NOT your doing, please now that you know do not blame yourself in any way. begin to love yourself and your body beautiful. Only you can do that Anonymous. bring forth the beauty that comes from within you and acknowledge your prettiness in the mirror. Know that the person in the Mirror (ME) can accomplish anything I want. You have good people around you to do that. Darlene has given you stepping stones of love words and aids to make a new beginning with. Live well, Laugh alot, Love much. Go for it Anonymous.

May 04, 2009
i am so sorry
by: ms.attitud3e

i am so sorry that that happend. did they ever cathch the person that did it to you? weell um just stay strong and rember that you have your family that loves you and cares about what you think and say to them

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