Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anne

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Oct 28, 2007
Looking for love and acceptance
by: Darlene Barriere

Anne, it sounds to me as though you were looking to be accepted at 8 years old, and that your brother and cousin took twisted advantage of you. Most little sisters—and little brothers—want to tag along with their older siblings or show them how good they are at doing something; in your case, Anne, it was dancing. The younger sibling often idolizes the older one, which puts the younger child in a very vulnerable position, as s/he tries to please the older brother or sister. It often turns into the misuse of power, which is at the core of any kind of abuse.

It is not unusual for victims of sexual assault to "cooperate", but that does not for one second change the fact that sexual assault did occur. At 8 years old, you were not in a position to be able to consent. You cannot blame yourself for this, Anne. It wasn't your fault.

The fact that you "looked forward to doing it and even coaxed my brother a few times to continue with me on his own" tells me that your body betrayed you; this is not uncommon in sexual assault victims.

You said that you now feel "dirty and uneasy." Don't adultify your 8-year-old self, Anne. You were a child; you could not be held responsible for the decisions you made. Your brother and cousin knew what they were doing was wrong, since they made you promise not to tell.

In Canada today, if a child assaulter is between the ages of 12 - 17, under the relatively new Youth Criminal Justice Act, the assaulter can be brought before the courts for a sexual offense. If your cousin had done today what he did to you thirty-odd years ago, he could be facing adult sexual assault charges that could result in an adult sentence, if he were convicted. At 11, your brother would be considered too young to be charged, even though by definition, he could be considered a child sex offender since he was more than 2 years older than you when he assaulted you. It's very complicated, Anne; but my point here is to once again tell you, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

I urge you to seek out a counsellor, Anne. Someone who can help you sort out the emotional residue these assaults have had on you. You really are worth it.

Oct 28, 2007
PLEASE DONT
by: sarah g

HELLO ANNE I HOPE YOU ARE WELL,DONT FEEL DIRTY OR UNEASY, WHAT HAPPENED WAS NOT YOUR FAULT, I IMAGINE HOW YOU FEEL AT FAMILY GET TOGETHERS, I USED TO FEEL THE SAME, UNTIL MY STORY CAME OUT 3 YRS AGO, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU MUSNT KEEP THIS SECRET TO YOUR SELF NO LONGER, ITS A START THAT YOU FOUND THE COURAGE TO PUT YOUR STORY ON HERE, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE IT, AND THINK IT WILL GO AWAY, AS IT NEVER WILL, YOU HAVE TO BRING THIS OUT IN THE OPEN ASAP, AS SOON AS UVE DONE THIS, YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER,IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO, BE WARNED IT WILL BUILD UP AND EXPLODE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT TOO, SPEAK OUT HUNI

Dec 22, 2007
A child is the most innocent in the world.
by: Gabriela

Dear Anne

My name is Gabriela I am 18 years old and we share a similar story. You where a child, a child can not be expected to understand or have full acknowledgment of what happens to them especially in sexual abuse cases. The child only knows it feels good and it may or may not be wrong. Unfortunaltey a child has no voice in these cases, you are a grown women, you have a voice, your story is not uncommon. Heal your mind, it really concerns me that you say you think about this every day, I know you must want to be free of those thoughts and in reality can any-one truly be free of this! Maybe not but we can heal, heal your mind.

You must know you are brave to share your story, not all people can do this. Take care of your-self and believe that there will be some peace for you one-day.
Gabriela

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