Comments for Child Abuse Story From Ann O For My Son

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Feb 08, 2010
Ann:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I would love to be able to tell you how you can get your son into therapy so that he will start to deal with his depression and PTSD, etc., but short of having him declared unfit or suicidal and therefore incapable of making any of his own decisions, this must be HIS decision and his alone. At this point, it is quite likely that your son sees that you still remember him at 7 years old and that you see him as a victim, and that could be part of the reason he won't listen to what you have to say. The more you push, the more he will push back; that may well be a coping mechanism for him. Every time you either tell him he needs help or you imply it in your actions or even in a look, he hears and sees it as more of the same messages he got from his father: "I'm not good enough." What you CAN do is to be a strong support system for him, without judgment. If and when he feels the need to talk, be there to listen and to answer any questions he might have. If and when he decides to deal with his trauma and he says that he is ready, be supportive and encouraging. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, Ann, but being an influence in his life means first letting him live his life, even when that means he's not making healthy choices. I do thank you for sharing your son's (and daughter's) story with my visitors and me, and for your all-important message to others. And keep healing and recovering yourself, Ann. Modeling healing behaviour may well be an inspiration for your son.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Feb 09, 2010
I know many a mother like you suffering in silence
by: maurice

Ann O. Darlene has spoken words of love, support and encouragement to you. please take them on board. I assure you if you heed her words you will soften the harshness you feel about yourself first. I know many a mother like you Ann O. Who sat silently by while their brutes of husbands/fathers of their children took the law and controll into his own hands. Don't totally blame yourself, because at the time you loved your boy and girl enough not to say anything so that he would not hurt more. He abused you too. He is not a good man. his control, his abuse effects you, your boy, all these ears later. Your son is an adult now in his own right. just be there for him, don't put pressure on him. just be a gentle and good mother around him. Begin to get healing for yourself, maybe when he see's the differnece it is making on you it will encourage him to begin counselling. His sister too will have influence by just living her life to the full. don't either of you interfere in your son's life, thinking it is what ye should do. just be with hime, walk with him, love him. he will love you back in his own way. he too will get help when he is ready for it. Ann O re-read Darlene's comment. just to make real sense of it to yourself. Love yourself, get help, Take one day at a time. erase those awful memories you have of that Man. Love yourself by loving your children as adults and who can help you too to heal. I can, I will, I must, Because I am WORTH it.

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