Comments for Child Abuse Story From Angelica1 Part 4

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Jun 08, 2009
Flashbacks are not uncommon in such situations...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Angelica, you're simply not yet ready for a sexual encounter with anyone because you're still too raw from what you dealt with as a child. What you experienced that night with that man was a type of flashback. That's where you are with this, Angelica, so meet yourself where you are.

Sex is more than just a "common thing". It's an expression of love and joy. But when a person has been sexually abused in their past, that past can come back to haunt them when that past is triggered by an event happening at that moment. This is what happened that night to you. There was no expression of love or joy. It's not that "you're the problem"; it's that the problem (child sexual abuse) is still with you. The encounter you had with this man was too similar to what happened to you as a child, and that sent you into a tailspin of sorts. Don't beat yourself up about this. See it as an opportunity to delve into this further, an opportunity to work on your thoughts about yourself a bit more. You are much more deserving than a one-night stand with a man who couldn't care less about you.

You were betrayed in the worst way, Angelica, by the man who was supposed to protect you and keep you safe from harm. When you try to have a sexual encounter, the betrayal and memories come back as though they are happening all over again with your father. This is no reason to batter and belittled yourself. Under the circumstances, flashbacks are to be expected. So please, ease up on yourself. Give yourself a break. You're just not yet ready to have a sexual encounter, but that doesn't mean you'll never be ready. It means you still have some work to do before you are. Keep working on yourself. While your past shapes you, it is not who you really are. Who you really are goes much deeper. And as you begin to understand that, you will come to understand that sex as an expression of love and joy will not be tainted by the experiences you were forced to endure at the hands of a sick and twisted father.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

To my other visitors: I ask that you please refrain from passing judgment over Angelica's decision to be sexually active. Any such postings will be deleted out of respect for her and her choices. I thank you for your understanding.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 09, 2009
Don't be so hard.......
by: Judy

on yourself. Please listen to Darlene's advice - she knows so much and has experienced even more. You will not be judged by anyone - we are all praying, hoping, and wishing nothing but the best for you. Stay strong and keep seeking and reaching out for help - you will get there, it may not be in the timeframe that you would like but you will get there. The fact that you survived your ordeal says alot about the person you are - strong, caring, and courageous. Use the tools that God blessed you with and you will be OK - always have Faith - ALWAYS! Truly in your corner, Judy.

Jun 10, 2009
Building up trust and respect for each other is important to begin with
by: maurice

While the media in all countries would lead us to believe that the growth in underage sex is the lack of education. I believe through my work with Young People and their Families that this is not true. Yes Teens have become more sexually active, the majority of young people are most responsible in their relationships and sex plays a very small part in their building of friendship and beginning relationships. The Majority have the highest respect and trust for each other that they don't use having sex with each other to prove anything. Angelica 1 because of your background while you must lead as a normal life as is possible sadly your background of abuse may not help to think clear each time you are out enjoying yourself. I know your testing the ground to see if you can get on with your life normally and naturally having sex is not the big thing for you to do at this moment of time. You still are making great strides in understand the abuse meted out to you. Angelica 1 I'm not trying to be a spoil sport here but do listen to Darlene's wonderful supporting and loving words to you in her comment. She talks sense and is a professional person who having been abused herself can emphtise naturally and genuinely with you and all her visitors. You'll be fine, trust yourself, think positive, act positive, and be positive in all you do day by day. Build up your own self worth/esteem. I am beautiful, I am special, I can have an empowering mirror image of myself by telling that unique beautiful person woman in the mirror I am very pretty. I have a lovely body and make beautiful and nice all the parts that were abused through NO FAULT OF YOUR ANGELICA 1. Stop blaming yourself, LOVE yourself day by day. Live well, Laugh alot, Love much. Your highly intelligent and you relate your abuse story to Darlene and her visitors knowing you will find help their for you in all the comments. We love each other and really want what is the best for each other. you want it, I want it. Let go slowly but very surely the not so nice memories of your abuse with the help of your friend (s) and professional help.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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