Comments for Child Abuse Story From Angelica1 Part 3

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May 14, 2009
Not just for your sister, but for YOU...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Angelica, I'm delighted that your father is no longer in the same home as you and your sister. The fact that he's now gone means that you no longer have to worry that he will molest you or your sister. But even if he doesn't return, I would report him; otherwise, he will likely offend again. As I stated in another comment to you, sex offenders do not change their ways until they are stopped.

As for your mother, she wasn't there for you. She was distant and unavailable. She failed to protect you and keep you safe from harm; of course you would ask the question: How could you NOT know! But what I must stress is that NONE of what happened, either at the hands of your father or brother, or at the hands of your mother was your fault. You were—ARE—worthy of love and nurturing and dignity and respect. You did not deserve to be mistreated in any way. So if you are still hanging onto self blame, you must find a way to let that go. This wasn't your fault, Angelica. And please, go back to your psychologist. Don't be doing this all by yourself. You need her professional services, and you also need support. You aren't only dealing with depression, you are dealing with a situation that is too difficult to handle alone. Reach out, Angelica. Reach out to someone who is in a position to be able to help you. Really help you. You certainly deserve that help and support. Don't do it for your sister. Don't do it for anyone else. Do it for yourself, because you are worth it!

Thank you for sharing even more of your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 14, 2009
You are not alone!!
by: Sandra (Lonely at Heart)

Angelica,
I know how overwhelming the fear can be and how much of a relief it is to wake up and KNOW that the person causing you harm is no longer there!!

But the truth is that the memories are...and that is the haunting point for me...like you, I kept quiet to protect someone else...only difference is that I spoke and got taken away from him but he didnt go to prison...I DID!! In my mind...at least...I created my own prison...(I have never said that feeling out loud, until now)
I still have a very very hard time trying to cope with it all...and I just wanted you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! In every way that you feel, I comprehend and feel your pain in EVERY WAY...and I know that you wish that you could get such understanding from the family you love and not strangers BUT...to me....although we may not know who we are...I dont see us as strangers for we share so much in this site so many similarities, that the readers and writers of this site in one way or another, WE ALL know each other...probably better than anyone in our household ever would...
I am happy that you are happy that your sister is safe....but Ange, from experience I am going to tell you, now at the age of 33...I am trying to do my very best to get justice...and I REGRET EVERY DAY that I WITHDREW THE CASE BACK THEN!! Simply because I loved my family more than I loved myself...well babygirl, its time to love YOURSELF...

There is a song that to this day gets me thru so much...Mariah Careys "Cant take that Away"...it is a BEAUTIFUL song...and it gives me the strength that i need to keep my head up on days that I want to do is BURY IT FURTHER IN THE GROUND!!

Keep your head up and Love YOURSELF!!!
ON THIS SITE...WE LOVE YOU!! <3

"SMILE, ITS FREE!"

May 14, 2009
So Happy
by: Judy

Hello Angelica -

I am so happy that your dad is gone - Woohooo!!!
I know you have a ways to go but you are a very strong person and you are off to a good start - I think that wholeheartedly. You have endured so much but you are truly a survivor. Your life story makes those of us out here pay closer attention to our children and our grandchildren. There is a lesson learned in everything - I now watch out for things with children even closer and your story keeps these things on the forefront--your life story can truly save others.

My heart goes out to you. At some point you will hopefully be able to forgive your mother - for your own wellbeing - not hers. Part of moving on is making peace with the past. But I also know that some things are easier said than done. Keep Faith - keep pressing forward - keep your head up - you are stronger than you know. You are still in my prayers and I wish you the best always. Judy

May 15, 2009
happy on the mountain are the feet that brings good news.
by: maurice

Oh Angelica 1, your news that your not so nice father has moved out and away from you. It is great news as Darlene appreciates, Sandra and Judy. I am so happy for you and your sister. reading through your latest input to Darlene gave me a total uplift in my feelings for you. Living with such a fear for so long won't go away all that quickly. There's great hope now for you and your sister. It is nice to hear that your story puts in the minds of those rearing children I must not let that happen to mine. Powerfu, your story will have had it valued effects in their lives. Thank you Angelica 1. Hi, please don't relax now and sit back, go for advice and help. You still have all the effects of what your father caused you to let go, so you can believe in yourself as a person. I am beautiful, I am special, I am unique, I can make a great life for myself and love my little ssiter to bits. Your Mother too, it will take time she may have found herself to be helpless when your father was about and she may have lived in fear of him. If that was the situation for her then she too may have thought hitting you and not giving you what you wanted even a piece of candy was what she had to do at that time. She was wrong. Know, as Darlene in her loving words to you, tells you IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT (EVER). Smile awhile with maurice. era go on. When you look in the mirror say to that wonderful and beautiful person (ME) in it. I can accomplish anything I want in my life, I have no reason to doubt that. I'M SPECIAL. Always believe in yourself Angelica 1.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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