Comments for Child Abuse Story From Angel

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Jan 31, 2009
He fed you lies...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Angel, try not to compare your story with those of others on this site. There was a time I too minimized the child abuse I endured. This habit started in childhood as a way to cope with what I was enduring. It was so much easier to brush all of it aside when I recognized that there were children on the planet who had no home to live in, no clothes to wear, no food to eat. If there were starving children in the world then my situation paled in comparison. After all, I had a home to live in, and I had clothes to wear, and I had food to eat. But as the effects of the abuse I suffered continued into adulthood, I learned that if I continued to minimize what happened to me, I would never heal from the effects of what happened to me; there was no circumventing the very real pain I was in. I learned this while I was in therapy.

I also had to learn to put the images (flashbacks, in some cases) into perspective. Therapy was critical in this regard.

Angel, those "images" you continue to see in your mind are exactly that: images. I know this sounds simplistic; but please bear with me. The man your mother married did vile things to you and your brother; of that I have no doubt. But he did them many years ago. He can no longer do those things to you. You are now safe from him. It's your thoughts about what happened to you that you must now deal with and put into perspective. When those images and your thoughts about those images re-surface, replace them with the messages that you are now safe, that he can no longer hurt you. That is how I started the healing and recovery process for myself, Angel. And it was a process. I strongly urge you to seek out some form of counselling to help you in this regard. Don't minimize what you are dealing with; rather, consider yourself worthy and deserving of the help. This pitiful excuse for a man fed you lies. Now you must replace those lies with truths: you are smart, you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are deserving of the help you need.

And for goodness sake, stop thinking about the fact that your abuser got away scot free. I'm being firm here, Angel, because you don't know that he will get away scot free. What you do know is that justice was never served for what he did to you based on the laws of the land; but what you don't know is the karmic price he will pay for what he did to you. What you must focus on now is healing yourself. Don't let what he did to you continue to imprison and control you. He's not worth it. You're the one worthy here, Angel. Don't ever lose sight of that.

Thank you for sharing your story and your all-important message with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Aug 28, 2009
im sorry
by: mel

i just wanted to say thati m sorry that what you had to go through,
i know what i went through wasnt exactly the same, but i still have he same feelings and i hope that you can see that your not what he says you are, i also hope that one day you will realise he only gets away with it for as long as you let him, it sounds harsh but its true, just recently i got my story out on the open and now my abuser is being punished and i feel better knowing that no one else s getting hurt
i hope that you can learn to love yourself and see how beautiful you are and how amazing you are!!
xxx

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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