Comments for Child Abuse Story From Anela

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Feb 08, 2010
Anela:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. Please tell someone what is happening in your home: a trusted teacher, a school counsellor, an elder in your church, someone who can help you. Contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. You can visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.childhelp.org/get_help

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 08, 2010
SO SORRY
by: Whitney

OMG I can't believe this has happened to u and I'm so sorry and I'm eleven too and I am glad that nothing like that has ever happened to me but that's not helping and I wish that none of this could have happened to u since u r my age and I hope things get better and u should tell ur mom or talk to counselor and I pray that things get better for u. With luv from me

Feb 09, 2010
Tell on HIM, He is no good, He certainly is not a real Father to you.
by: maurice

Anela: Darlene is the best, she also knows from your story, you are not in a good place with that Father of yours. your sister and brother are suffering abuse too. You are a big girl, you were very brave to tell Darlene and her visitors. Your Father is a controller, abuser, molester, Your Mother does not seem to be strong enough to safeguard you from this man Your father. He should not be in the bathroom when you are having a bath or doing your toilet. your of age now that your dignity and right as an 11 year old must be safeguarded from him. I am certain you have a little friend or two your own age at school. get them to be strong with you and go to a teacher you like and trust. Your teachers are in a position to help you. Don't give up on yourself, your sister and brother. Darlene knows and encourages you to tell on him. if there is a counsellor in your school sit down and talk through what you wrote to Darlene.

Feb 09, 2010
ok
by: anela

i am trying to listen to your guys comments but i still love my dad so much i don't want to be taken away i just want it to stop my mom is always trying to stop him my dad needs help for anger issues i know that he was abused as a kid too he scares me soo much its just that if i tell someone i am scared that i have failed my family and him :(

From Darlene: Anela, I understand your concerns. Your fear and feelings are the same feelings that prevent most victims from disclosing. But your father will not get the help he needs unless someone reports him for what he's doing. It's not YOU who have failed your family; it's your father. Anela, what your father is doing is as a result of being abused, but that CAN'T be an excuse. If he seriously injures you or worse, then he will go to prison. The ONLY way for your father's abuse to stop is for you to disclose. Call the number I provided above, if for no other reason, to talk to someone.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Feb 10, 2010
You are not alone with your afraid feelings
by: Maurice

Anela, please read Darlene loving encourageing words to you, she knows what is best for you right now, she has been totally honest with you from her heart that she understands you being afraid. Hi, know we all were, we were all your age too when we were abused, we were innocent, we were vunerable, we were controlled, By brutes who knew that. Hi, Anela, my previous comment asked you to use your wee friends at school to hold your hand and walk with you to a teacher you all like and trust. Be brave, stay strong for your own safety and your brothers and sisters safety from more abuse from This Not so good or nice Father. I can do it, I will do it, I must do it because I am WORTH it. You were brave enough to tell Darlene and her visitors. Darlene's words in her comment will help you to be brave in telling someone you trust. Stay Safe

Feb 18, 2010
thanks
by: anela

hey guys darlene i have talked with my dad about this he acted like he didnt know what he was doin but it stopped i also have contacted that hotline you provided things are getttin ALOT better but my parents are splitting still and i will be movin with my mom thanks for your support and advice with all my gratitude and thanks
anela

Feb 20, 2010
Good on You: Your the best:
by: maurice

Great you heeded Darlene caring concerned advice Anela. Be a big girl now and always believe in yourself.Stay safe, love and respect your body and then you will have a love and respect for others too. You will lead the way in building your relationships on respect for each other. If that is missing Things can happen. Please Anela value yourself and build up your own self esteem and self worth with the help of your Mam, friends and where possible a counsellor/therapist the'll re-assure you of Darlene supporting and encoureing words of love from her heart to you. In her special circles of speaking and giving conferences she is know as the Relationship Lady. An apt name for her indeed.

Feb 22, 2010
God will heal you if you wish
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry. You don't deserve that treatment and neither does your sister. Gosh, that's so awful. No one deserves such horrible treatment. Again, I am very deeply sorry.

I want to tell you that you have two fathers. You have your father on earth, and you have a Father in Heaven (God.)

Anela, I hope you know that if ever you go to bed hungry, crying, scared, or even feeling happy, He is there with you in Spirit. He cries when you cry. He is joyful when you are joyful. And He longs to protect you when you're scared.

Call on God and He will do wonderous things in your life. Remember that even when it seems like He isnt doing anything, He is ALWAYS working things out for your future and for your benefit. You can trust Him. Remember that you can always talk to Jesus about anything, He loves you so much.

And I also strongly suggest that you tell someone about this abuse. A teacher, aunt/uncle, the police, or anyone that you trust.

God bless you!
You're in my prayers!

Mar 24, 2010
re: god wil heel all things
by: anela

thats what i used to believe when things started happening i don't believe theres a god out there some say that he plans out life from the beginning so he planned that i was going to be abused that the ones i love will turn there backs on me so much has happened its like god planned it so my life is f***ed up if not then i used to pray every night but where did it gget me here writing on some site god will not heel my wounds and if there is one then i am very suprised

Mar 24, 2010
I am the BEST, I am SPECIAL. I'm going to love me
by: maurice

Almost a month has gone by since I wrote my comments to you Anela. I hope you are up of that bottom of yours and out and about living your life to the full. Doing gymnastic.s playing hockey or whatever the most popular team sport is where your at. I would like to know sometime if you are feeling good in yourself and receiveing all the help darlene suggested would be good for you. Ok I won't waste any more of your valueable time for now. I love the me looking out at me from the mirror. DO YOU ANELA????????????

Apr 05, 2010
no i don't maurice
by: anela

no i don't love the person im looking at in the mirror

Apr 06, 2010
You will in your own time, But you must work at it. slowly but surely
by: maurice

For 30 years now when I have encouraged The Young, The not so young, The Old to Love who the see in the mirror. The sexes don't differ they all think I'm Mad to be encourageing such. But slowly but very surely they find my reason for asking them and now tell me, yes it is a good feeling when I do it. You see Anela many have never been helped to build up their own self worth, self esteem especially those who have been abused. It took me 30 years or so to admit I was abused. Then it took me a little long to love the wonderful and beautiful human being looking back at me from the mirror: I did, and I have never stopped loving me, It gave me a great correctedness to say, yes, I have a beautiful anatamoy, My acknowledgeing of that beuty comes from within. I grew up being told, you must not say good things about your body, Cover it up every chance you get, don't show it off in public etc. The church sadly gave this unreal, un-natural concept of one's body and one's sexuality. When I was in Boarding school and playing team sports or swimming I had to wrap myself in towels while undressing and putting on my shorts and and trunks. In school we were all segregated into age groups which meant we were all maturing as adolecents but we had to cover up and undress with towels. Then The prevert of a dean of discipline had no qualms of beating us on our bare bottoms some times in front of the others. He was a bad pervert now when I think back. And yet he made us use towels when undressing for showers etc. Warped mind. Most abusers make us feel bad about our bodies, our self worth, our self esteem, So Anela it will take you time to begin bulding up your own self esteem, your own self respect, Anela, thank you for sharing ever so honestly and naturally where you are at. Don't let it stop you, There is a beautiful and wonderful me in that mirror just accept it, believe it, acknowledge it, be gentle and kind to that me loking at you. Take time, It is a good feeling. You are in the privacy of your own space. I don't have sisters but I have learned they spend alot of time pampering themselves more than their brothers or male counterparts. Admire yourself first Don't be making yourself looking beautiful for the other. I'M SPECIAL, I'M NUMBER 1, I'M THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON, I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM ETC. Anela think positive act positive be positive when you're in front of the mirror. I am, instead of I am not, I have a nice etc, instead of I don't like this and that etc. . A good mirror image works wonders, I know after 33 years having it. I have to still work at it though. ANELA SAY, I can, I will, I must.

Apr 06, 2010
response to Anela's response to God's healing touch
by: Anonymous

I understand why u feel that way, Anela, about God not healing you. but the world is the way it is today, not because thats how He wants it to be, but because humans have made it that way. He gave us free will and the decision to choose Him or turn away. The people who abused you clealry turned away. If He were to make them be more loving towards you, He would be forcing them against their will, and if He forced people into doing things then we would be His pawns and not His people. As for planning our lives before we're born, I dont believe thats true. He lets us decide our future. I will pray for you. I would not tell you about a God I didn't believe could heal you... He's done amazing things for me and I know He will for you as well. Take a leap of faith and be amazed. He loves you and I feel His love shining through me to you. I might sound crazy, but its how I feel... because I dont even know you but I feel like I appreciate you. I love everyone, even the people i dont know. literally EVERYONE!(i know this sounds really insane, but bear with me) because God has touched my heart.

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