Comments for Child Abuse Story From Andrew Richards Part 1

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Jul 09, 2008
 Rejection at every turn...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

ADD was just beginning to be understood and diagnosed while you were growing up, Andrew. Fifteen-twenty years ago, while I was a childcare provider, I had a little boy in my care diagnosed with ADD. Several other care providers within my region, all of us members of the regional daycare association, had children (all boys) also diagnosed. We developed an informal support group of sorts to better help those precious little boys, and to provide encouragement to the parents who knew so little about what they were dealing with. The lack of understanding and lack of training for parents, teachers, and yes even doctors, special and lovable and precious little boys like you suffered—and sadly, STILL suffer—from rejection, ridicule, physical abuse, and emotional abuse at the hands of just about everyone around them.

As for your aunt's statement: "It's not that we don't love you Andrew, it's just that we're trying to bring you down to earth." Translation: We want you to be something else. Such ignorance.

I can relate to the feelings of helplessness and powerlessness and sheer terror that your mother was going to die and leave you alone, Andrew. Even daily abuse was a fate you'd willingly choose rather than lose your mother forever, a mother than you had at least some pleasant memories with. All too often adults forget that even teenage boys still need their mothers. All too often adults expect a 15- or 16-year-old boy to be a "man" and repress their emotions, even in the face of one of the greatest tragedies that can happen to an adolescent; the possible death of a parent. You DESERVED to have the adults in your life paying attention to your feelings and needs, Andrew. You DESERVED to be accepted exactly as you were. I'm so sorry you didn't have the loving, nurturing, supportive family that you really did deserve to have. Like most survivors, you've had to find that support for yourself.

And speaking of support, I see you've made some highly supportive comments to others on this site; you'll be a great asset to other survivors, Andrew. Welcome aboard.

Just so you know, typically, I post additional installments a day or two after I post the first for my visitors. Expect to see Part 2 of your story tomorrow, then Part 3 the next day.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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