Comments for Child Abuse Story From Andrew

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Apr 18, 2008
Don't blame yourself for not telling...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

What your father and his friends did to you was despicable, Andrew. You had a birthright to a loving father. Instead, you were forced to live like a sexual slave. You didn't deserve what happened to you. You didn't ask for what happened to you. Your father was the adult in charge of taking care of you; you were, and still are, the child. He had a duty as your father to nurture and protect you and to treat you with dignity and respect. He failed on all counts. You, Andrew, failed on NONE. The fact that you did disclose shows me how strong you are. I hope you see that strength in yourself.

While I thank you for posting your story as a valuable message for others, I can't help but read an underlying tone of regret in your story, one that screams of self-blame. You didn't tell for a variety of reasons, reasons that you cannot hold yourself accountable for. As a 10-year-old boy, you had no power. Your father had ALL the power, power that he grossly misused well into your adolescent years. He took advantage of your trust and vulnerability. I refer you to my male victims of sexual abuse page for a discussion on why males do not disclose. Perhaps you'll find comfort in what's written there.

I hope you are in some form of counselling to help you deal with all the emotional residue of what you've endured. You are certainly worth it.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 18, 2008
Hi my name is Francine and I feel sorry for you
by: Francine

OMG I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!

Apr 22, 2008
Shocking.
by: Vicky

Andrew, reading your story puts tears in my eyes, literally. I'm sorry what you've been through. My god, what a terrible man your father is.

May 14, 2008
Im so sorry
by: John

Andrew, I am so sorry for what you went thru. No one has a right to treat another person especially a kid this way, I do not know how old you are now but I do want to say this. As someone who was also sexually abused but did not tell I grew uo and never dealt with . Now I am in my 30's having to deal with something I wish I would have taken care of long ago. It festers and grows. Please take care of yourself and get counseling or what ever you fell you need to help yourself. But most of all those feelings you may have gotten from being used as someone toy. I had them to and they dont just go away. Dont waste your life blaming yourself. Hes the one who should be ashamed not you. You are a great person and you need to know that and don't let anyone including that little voice in your head tell you any diffrent. I hope you are ok and I wish nothing but all the best for you the rest of your life. John

May 28, 2008
Soooooo Sorry!!!!!!
by: Joshua

Similar things happened to my family and friends. You did the right thing by speaking out and telling the world. You might have inspired someone else to tell their stories to the cops.
Something similar happened to me. I am 14 years old, although it happened when I was 7 or 8.

Oct 08, 2008
strength
by: Anonymous

i am so sorry. you seem like such a strong person. most people your age would never let anyone know that. im so glad you decided to speak out so maybe someone else that reads this will to/

Jun 15, 2010
not alone
by: Anonymous

Andrew, there is no way to express how much i feel for u. Im terribly sorry for what u went through. I woudnt dare say i know how u feel but just to assure u that ur not alone, i am disclosing for the first time in my life, what has happened to me. When i was just a young boy of 8, 4 boys who were a few years older then me kidnapped me. At first they made me dance nude for them. When the song was over, they passed me around and each of them had their turn at fulfiling their sexual desiers, which included knives, torches, strangling and oral sex to the point of torture. I have since then made as much as a recovery as i ever will, but as im sure u know what happens to us children never goes away. I"m 18 now.

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