Comments for Child Abuse Story From Amanda R

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Apr 22, 2009
You are special person...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Amanda, you are NOT stupid. Clearly, you are not stupid. Whether you are reading at a 5th-grade level, or you are on a 1st-grade level in math, you are VERY smart. Anything else is a lie, Amanda. Your mother has a problem, a problem that she took out on you. She cannot see how special you are. Instead, she used (and STILL uses) her own frustrations and her own inability to cope as an excuse to lash out at you as the cause. But I am here to tell you, Amanda, that you are most definitely NOT the cause.

I've learned that when people call us names and call us down, they are the ones who are insecure. Although she would never admit it, when your mother calls you stupid, she is the one who actually feels stupid. Her thinking is twisted. By calling you stupid, she somehow believes that she herself will no longer have those feelings herself. But in reality, calling you down only makes her appear stupid. I believe your mother feels somewhat threatened by you, Amanda; perhaps because you are such a caring and loving person. A person who is secure in themselves does not feel threatened by anyone, and would never call someone names.

Amanda, when you react to your mother calling you stupid or anything else, you believe the lies. You no longer have to believe those dreadful lies. You now know better: YOU MY DEAR ARE NOT STUPID. You are smart, articulate and deserving of dignity and respect. If you keep telling yourself that you will come to believe it.

And pay no attention to the people who call you a liar for calling what you lived through in your childhood what it was: child abuse. They don't know what you endured, but you certainly do. You know it was wrong. You know it was abuse. You have come to a safe place here on this site, Amanda. No one here will EVER tell you that what you endured wasn't abuse. You will only ever read validating and supportive words here. And with those validating and supportive words, healing can begin. And as healing begins, you will begin to feel less and less scared. Start by telling yourself positive things about yourself...

You are a very caring sister. I can tell by the way you speak of your brother. You are also a gentle person. I can tell by the way you write...and I think the essence of what you write is beautiful, Amanda. It comes from your heart; a very special place.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 22, 2009
It ain't easy, it takes time' Always believe in yourself.
by: Maurice

Amanda R. I use the letter R alot when I share with my friends, it is our RESPECT word for each other. We value each other by having it at all times our big R for each other. I put that there after I shared my story for the first time with my best friend who listened to me with Respect. The trust between us today is real and genuine, sincere and trusting. Having him and another female friend whom I trust equally. I regard myself as very fortuneate to have met them in my lifes journey. Amanda. Darlene loves you for who you are, she knows how brave, strong and articulate you are in relating what happpened to you as a child. I can never understand a Father abusing his children, those who do I don't regard them as normal human beings. just brutes/bullies/control freaks.sick individuals. For a mother to abuse her child is the pits of womanhood. Having birthed a beautiful child then slowly batter/beat and bruise it and degrade it is most appauling. Amanda your mother was not a good mother or woman. She needs loads of help. You are not doing yourself any favours by still having her in your life if she makes you feel the way you do when you are around her. in saying that I know the greatest bond between two human beings is the mother and child bonding. You and your boyfriend seem to love and understand each other and emphatise having both lived through abuse in childhood. If you both could have the courage to help each other to go for counselling it would be great. THink about it. Darlene she's so understanding with real womanly insticts, take her words of love, care and concern for you to heart. Hi there was never a stupid child ever born That's a Fact and you'd better believe it. Amamda know that, accept that and you will be doing yourself a great service. Now say I'M SPECIAL AND I LOVE ME. Era go on.

Apr 22, 2009
A willing enabler for a system...and a vicious beater for a mother
by: Anonymous

Amanda, your so-called mother and the entire system is wrong; you are not stupid. YOU ARE SMART. DON'T EVER LET ANYONE THINK OTHERWISE. The only stupidity that I see comes from your "mother" and the entire system. I'm sorry that you never had a good mom; strangely enough, I went through the same thing...and everyone outside of my "house" has always loved my parents. No one ever believed me at all when I tried to tell them what my parents had done to me and that my parents tried to destroy and kill me; in fact, they just kept mocking me and telling me that it was my "fault", that I "deserved what I got", that I "only break the rules in the house" and that I "never listen to my parents", so all I have to say to them is that they need a reality check. Have you tried counselling yet?

Jun 27, 2009
Over Come Your Fears
by: Autumn

Amanda R when I read your story it touch my heart! I can feel your pain and fear through your words. I also have reading issues. I wish I could meet you because you seem like a very sweet and beautiful girl. I would be a great friend to you honestly and I would trust and open up to you! I truly hope life gets better for you and that you get help! Just remember that you are in a place in my heart that I will cherish and love!

Jun 30, 2009
Begin to walk tall, walk straight, walk the world right in the eye.
by: maurice

Sadly for Amanda R your mammy never built your worth and self esteem to do that like most mothers did and do. Amanda R you have people on Darlene's site who love you, want what is the best for you NOW in your life. Only you can get help for all your bad and sad childhood experiences. A good and true friend is a good stepping stone to get on with your life. You have that person in your Life Amanda R. one step at a time, one day at a time, walk tall, walk straight, walk the world right in the eye with him. seek out real help together for yourself. Be brave, be strong for yourself and go for it.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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