Comments for Child Abuse Story From Alma

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Jan 05, 2009
 Such an important set of messages...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Alma, you were so courageous to bring your father to justice for the crimes he committed against you. I can only imagine the turmoil you faced along every step of the way. The betrayal and abandonment you must have felt when your mother of all people, wouldn't believe you, until your father actually confessed to his perverted tastes. How bloody arrogant of him to have included a "so what" in his confession. It must have been overwhelming for you to have to deal with all this. And then, add to it the fact that your sisters continued—and still continue—to treat you as though you are the one who is mentally ill...well...that just tells me how twisted up they are. Which is a perfect segue to my next point...

Why would you care about the thoughts of two twisted people, even if they are your sisters? Alma, you can't change what others do or the way others think. You can only change what you do and think.

You have every reason to be proud and confident. You can stand tall for the way you've conducted yourself through the abuse, the disclosure, and then the process of getting some semblance of justice for the crimes committed against you at the hands of a father whose job was to protect and nurture you. You were validated in that courtroom. You have no shame to bear in any of this; the same cannot be said of some of your family members. Sometimes it becomes necessary to walk away from toxic members of your family. Of course, that does not mean that you close the door to any possible future relationship with those who right now inflict emotional harm. It only means you draw a line in the sand, which says that you will no longer allow them to mistreat you. Sometimes a "chosen" family is more "family" than blood relatives. Your "amazing friends" ARE your chosen family, Alma; and one must do what one must do in order to live a happy and healthy life.

Your message of documenting and disclosing abuse is an important one. And your analysis of why children do not disclosure abuse is among the many reasons they don't. The number one reason children do not disclose is that they are afraid they won't be believed. The very real possibility of breaking up the family follows close behind. You've certainly hit the nail on the head with respect to the way families respond or turn a blind eye to abuse; all too often, they are enablers.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, Alma. And just for the record, including all the details in stories is not a prerequisite for having a story posted on this site. What you did include was perfect.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jan 05, 2009
 Regarding the inclusion of emails in posts...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

One more thing, Alma, I have a strict policy about including email addresses in posts. Since I have no way of knowing who my visitors really are, I must be vigilant in keeping all who visit here safe. Email addresses are therefore strictly prohibited. Visitors are welcome to write you via the comments form attached to your story. I trust you can appreciate my position on this, and I thank you for your understanding.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jan 07, 2009
 Alma, you're a hero
by: Francine

Alma, you are brave. I can also relate to your story, at least a little bit; both of my parents threatened to have me arrested sometimes and other times, they threatened to send me to the mental institution. Anyway, i'm glad that you turned your father in. You go, girl!
Jan 08, 2009
 WOW!!
by: Anonymous

wow girly you are on strong girl...just ignor your sisters ther just mad they wil get over IT! you guys are sisters not matter what in the heart they will LOVE youu


sighned...12 year old!
Jan 08, 2009
 Alma the Survivor!
by: Alice

Alma,I was in that kinda same situation.I couldnt tell anyone about my abuse(sexual and physically).
Until after I read about this site,I still havent told any adults about my abuse.But I have told some of my friends,well only 3.Because im still young
and im scared,what if my family doesnt believe me.I have horrible dreams of when i was abused.I want this to end already but Im scared to tell an adult.
Well yea Alma hopefully I can be as Brave as you were and tell my mom,Well alma please reply.

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