Comments for Child Abuse Story From Alexandra R

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Feb 13, 2011
Alexandra:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You're caught up in the cycle of violence. You really do need to stay away from this "friend", because the violence will continue to escalate and you'll be at greater and greater risk. You are in danger with this "friend", who is no friend at all. What you've endured in your abusive home life has set you up for extremely unhealthy relationships. You deserve so much better than that. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.ndvh.org/ You're worthy of dignity and respect and love. Stop believing the lies your twisted parents and guardians have been spewing. They ARE lies. But you must believe that yourself in order to affect change in your life. Understand that you are worthy of dignity and respect, and that what's happened to you is not your fault. Reach out for whatever resources are out there for you. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 13, 2011
Horror
by: Anonymous

Alexandra, your so-called girlfriend is wrong and so are your so-called parents. She is so twisted and screwed up that she doesn't even know how to take care of herself, much less be a friend to you. What happened to you will never be your fault and those who are hurting you are wrong. You are not to blame; your so-called parents (dad and stepmother, to be exact) are really to blame and so is your mom for leaving you with those two control freaks and not protecting you. You were the child; they were the adults. They had all the power and they misused it over you. As for your so-called girlfriend, she doesn't know how to love even herself; all she ever knew is hate so she should've known better. You don't need your terrible, ignorant monster of a girlfriend; you don't need to spend any time nor emotion with those control freaks for parents and girlfriend. What she did to you is not love at all; it's all about control and power. Oh, and I recommend that you go to a woman's shelter like I plan to go to someday. I also hope that you try counselling.

Feb 14, 2011
huh? social srvices came but left? multiple times?
by: My Two Cents

Alexandra, your posted story concerns me a lot. Most of the stories in here dealing with severe physical abuse, it doesn't seem to get reported to child welfare.

In your case, you wrote that social services was always at your house because the school reported things to them. I get you and your siblings were threatened to keep silent, but a trained child abuse investigator should have been able to see through and get to the heart of the matter.

I don't get how the school can make repeated reports to child welfare and yet when they sit down with you and your siblings, they can't find signs of abuse. I have assumed that "social services" equals child welfare. I'm wondering from your story if you might have had a social worker who either does not specialize in child welfare or is so new that they don't have the experience to judge what they are seeing?

If you were left in that environment because the social services people made a serious error, maybe seek a lawyer and discuss a civil case against them for failure to protect or something.

A note - for those who disagree, I could see one investigation missing something but not multiple investigations. Social workers have enormous power to protect and assist those who are vulnerable. When they fail, they should be held accountable. Whatever the excuses behind the failure - lack of time, no foster homes available....whatever, they CHOOSE to work in social services. They applied to be people in these positions of trust and responsibility. When there is a failure, I want someone held accountable so it doesn't happen again, and so the people hurt are compensated.

Alexandra, congrats on getting away from that environment. You showed true courage and determination when you did that.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

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