Comments for Child Abuse Story From Alex Part 2

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Nov 28, 2008
Your little brother is helpless, Alex (Aztec) but YOU'RE not...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Alex, you're right; you "shouldn't have done that" to your brother. What your mother did to you after you stomped on your brother's foot and after you answered her with disrespectful sarcasm was out of line (I do not believe a child should be kicked or hit for any reason). There definitely needed to be consequences for the way you mistreated your brother, and for the disrespect you showed your mother. I understand better than anyone how it feels to be mistreated and then to lash out against the people who abuse you. But coming from a house rife with abuse does not give you license to mistreat others, Alex. Coming from abuse doesn't excuse what you did to your helpless little 5-year-old brother.

Did it occur to you that by stomping on his foot, you were treating him the way your mother and stepfather treat you? Did it occur to you that he would and could become depressed in the same way you have for the way you treat him? He looks up to you, Alex. He sees you as his hero because you're his big sister. He adores you. And when he sees you in pain, his whole world falls apart, because he sees you as his strong older sister. And then he blames himself for the pain you are in, because that is the nature of little children.

Yes, you're in middle school, Alex, but you are old enough to KNOW and DO better. You of all people understand how terrible it feels; after all, you keep "wishing" it would be better in your house. You cry in the corner all the time over what happens every day in your house. What you must ask yourself is how you can make it better in your house: your brother, whom you love—of that I have no doubt—is at least one person you can treat with dignity and respect.

Alex, you have to rise above the abuse, you have to learn from the abuse; and by doing so you can walk proudly with your head up because YOU stopped the cycle of violence and abuse. You have to decide what kind of a woman you're going to be. It's sooner than most, but that time has come, Alex. An "Aztec Warrior" is both brave and noble.

In the comments I made to your story submission yesterday, I provided you with a hotline number to contact. Call them.

As for your teacher, tell someone what he did. Not only is what he did inappropriate, it was criminal. Talk to the people at Child Help about this too. You didn't and don't deserve to be sexually abused, Alex. Yes, you have a lot on your plate, but there are people out there who want to help.

Thank you for sharing more of your child abuse story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 28, 2008
Respect, yes; abuse...no!
by: Francine

Hey girl, you and your mother showed disrespect for each other. Both of you. She shouldn't have kicked you on the butt, let alone kick you in the gut. That is crazy! She needs to be reported to the police, and so should your step-dad. You'll need to tell someone on her right now cuz no one deserves to live like that! BTW, your mom is wrong: you are not a brat; you are not selfish! You are very smart, caring, kind, generous, thoughtful, articulate and worthy; don't ever let anyone think otherwise!
However, what you did to your brther and how you talked to your mom in a sarcastic voice is very...not like you. No matter how "annoying" your caring little brother is towards you, there is NO REASON for you to stomp on his foot, whether you were frustrated with him or not. I would also be remiss if I hadn't even pointed out that talking to your mom in a sarcastic tone of voice is a ridiculous thing to do, Aztec, and it DOES NOT help the situation at all; in fact, it will ONLY inflame that situation. You owe it to yourself to show respect for those around you, including your mom (who should do the same, too). And please, Aztec, refrain from all your frustrations and even from using that sarcastic voice, both of which are SO unbecoming of an intelligent girl.
BTW, what that teacher of yours did to you during the movie night at his house was so disgusting and perverted, and I hope that he doesn't do that again (and you should, too).
To make this long comment short, please tell somebody on your mom and your step-dad right now cuz you deserve to be safe. I wish you all the best. Hang in there!

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