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Jun 10, 2008
No blame to shoulder...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You learned to "suck it up" as a kid, Ace. Now, at 34 you still "suck it up." But at what cost? You are still "waiting" to get past a childhood that was rife with physical and emotional abuse. You are still "waiting" to move past the guilt and self-blame; guilt and self-blame that you do not bear.

What your father (and mother) did to you was nothing short of horrific. There is no blame for you to shoulder. None of this was your fault. Absolutely none of it. Period. End of story. I will not even entertain such a misguided thought. Your father looked for reasons—any reasons—to beat you, to punish you for what he knew deep down was his and your mother's fault. To have blamed you for their baby's death was twisted. It was a horrible tragedy, yes. The fact that your baby sister died as a result of her falling off the bed when you were playing with her was not your fault; your parents were being neglectful when they left you, a 5-year-old little boy, alone on a bed with an infant. I cannot stress strongly enough: They were responsible for her death, not you.

Regardless of how your parents thought of you, regardless of how they transferred the blame of their gene pool onto you, you were NOT a "burden." You were stricken with an illness that you had no control over. You required the adults in your life to ensure your managed health. They failed you, Ace. They failed you at every junction. Don't make the same judgments they made. Don't fail yourself. Don't keep "sucking it up."

There is no shame in admitting that you need help. There is no shame in seeking out that help. I urge you to consult a therapist. It wouldn't be a failure, it would be a feat.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 10, 2008
I know how you feel
by: Melynda Johnson

When I was younger my dad was very violent. I did the same thing as you, i didnt "do" anything. Now I am 18 and my dad still tends to lean towards violence. Sometimes if you fight back it makes it 10 times worse. I hope that your sugar level stays safe.

Jun 12, 2008
A comment to release other comments:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm posting this in an effort to release the other comments currently in queue for this submission; there is a system glitch that has yet to be resolved. My sincere apologies for the delay in getting these comments to appear on this page. I realize it's an inconvenience, but rest assured, I continue to work at trying to fix this problem.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 18, 2008
hey there
by: Anonymous

thanks for the support, this is ace. i've been healthy for years and have been taking care of my sugar. thank you.

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