Child Abuse Story From
Meru

This child abuse story from Meru was created October 5, 2006 and was originally posted on September, 18, 2006 as story #35.

Meru is from Salmon Arm, British Columbia, Canada

The following child abuse story from Meru depicts emotional abuse at the hands of her father and sister, and sexual abuse by her cousin, sister, and other non-family members.

The child abuse effects on Meru: depression, self-blame, low self-esteem, constant fear, the inability to stand up for herself, and entering into dysfunctional and/or abusive relationships.

Child Abuse Story From Meru:

I don't have very many good memories of my childhood. I had two older sisters, and was usually ignored.

I used to have a cyst on my kidney, which made me wet my pants and my bed. One time my dad told me if I didn't stop he would send me to an orphanage. So I would live everyday trying to hide it. [I] would go for weeks with soaking wet bed sheets and dirty clothes because I was so ashamed and so afraid that my dad would send me away.

My dad always spoiled my middle sister. And the oldest sister was the one who always got into trouble. I always felt insecure and ignored.

One year we went to my grandparents house for Christmas, and my cousin sexually molested me. He told me that if I told anyone then I would get into trouble. Again that fear of being sent away was struck in my heart.

Not even a year later, my oldest sister would sexually molest me. She told me I had to or she would tell my parents that I still wet the bed. So I did what she told me to for well over 6 months. By the time I realized it was wrong, it was too late.

When I was fourteen I went to a friend's house, and we were drinking. She invited a guy that she knew over. He introduced me to marijuana. She [my friend] got so drunk that she could barely move on her own. The guy made advances on me and I was too scared to do anything. I shook my head no, but I was too scared to say no. I felt like I let it happen.

Not even a year later, it was nine days after my 15th birthday, I was raped by someone who I thought was a close friend. I had told him no, but again [I] did not have the courage to fight. I had withheld that information for years. It was my downfall.

I have issues with letting guys take advantage of me. I am still very afraid to say no now and to fight. I have difficulties being in a decent relationship. My haunted past always messes it all up.

I am now turning 20 this year, and I'm in a relationship that isn't abusive in any way . . . but I'm so afraid that this depression I struggle with due to my past is going to tear it all apart, like it has torn me apart.

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References

NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
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Child abuse story from Meru was re-formatted June 6, 2015