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Jan 16, 2018
To Norbert:
by: Darlene - Healing Coach

It's not stupid to want someone to love who will love you back. In fact, it's not only survivors of abuse who feel that way. Most humans do too.

As for the way your father treats you and emotionally abuses you, this is all about his own negative messages from his own past. My mother was very similar to your father. She called me names much like the ones you've been called. As I got older, I came to realize that she resented me for what I had and could do because she herself was never given that kind of freedom. It was twisted thinking, but it took me decades to free myself of those same messages. What's important now, Norbert, is that you don't embrace those negative messages. It's really easy to do when you live in that kind of emotional mistreatment. Don't ever lose sight of the value you hold as a human being.

As always, I send you loving healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 16, 2018
Not your fault
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to hear about your medical problem and pray that issue is finally resolved.

You are being used as the scapegoat by your parents. They, especially your father, is taking his frustrations out on you and attempting to lay the blame for their failures on you.

You do not deserve to be treated so negatively, and you must know - THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

I know how hard it is to not be emotionally shattered and to act like a duck in the rain (let it roll down your back and forget about it).
My advice would be to keep a journal. Keeping a journal will allow you to document the event and it will allow you to get the event out of your head so you don't have to carry it around with you. A journal will also allow you to go back and confirm that you were not in the wrong, you are not exaggerating and you are not "crazy".

When I finally decided it was time to confront my abusive family about their hostility towards me, I had things documented. When they still refused to acknowledge the errors of their actions and words, I knew they would not change so I made the decision to go "no contact". I understand your current situation does not make going no contact an option for you, but it may help you unload the negativity onto paper and allow you to not carry the memories around with you.

Good luck to you in whatever career you decide to pursue. I have no doubt you are an intelligent person who will surely be a success. Do not allow your father's abusive words to damage your self esteem. You are a good person and you not only deserve to be happy, you will find happiness in your life someday.

My have my support and prayers for your future.

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E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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