Bad Dreams Surfacing

by Name Undisclosed
(Location Undisclosed)

I am having a dream about my abusive stepfather where he wants my brother and me to change his soiled diaper. He started abusing me at the age of three in real life, again when I was about 10 or so, then again when I was 12 -13. My mom was working, she never knew until I finally told her. She confronted him and he later told her that if he got in trouble for it my half-brother would also because he had been abusing me too. It is true my half-brother abused, me not as severe as the stepfather, but it was bad enough because it was happening at the same time. I just thought I didn't matter.

I had no one, my mom wasn't allowed to talk to me hardly, or she would get violently abused. I really didn't even have a relationship with my mom till I was 16, but by then I was a real mess.

I am happier now. I'm with very good man who knew me when I was younger and a runaway. We are raising my nephew from my half-sister who is also an abuser, because he had nowhere else to go. He has been with me since he was eight months old. I love him dearly. I feel a lot of joy to see him so happy.

Lately, I've been having these dreams and I wake up because I am yelling or crying. I know my husband is concerned. I was also involved in a hit-and-run as a pedestrian almost 2 years ago so I've been going through a lot of pain, boredom, stress. Also, my mother died this last year. Our relationship was full of love, but it was also a stressful relationship. I miss her a lot. I guess I'm just wondering if I should be concerned and go to counseling. Thank you for taking time to read this.