At This Age the Child's Mind Still Recalls
(Cherry Hill, New Jersey, USA)
Darlene, first let me say thank you for this all-inclusive website.
What brought me to you was research on sexual abuse for a blog I will write, but not in the first person. Amazingly, after about ten minutes of reading selected sites I became aware of being fidgety, a slight headache, and periods of not breathing. I smacked myself on the cheek and pushed away from the desk. At the age of sixty and years of being at peace from the abuse by an uncle, physical signs told me that personal turmoil was still possible.
Sadness did not take over like it used to, but still my child's mind reverted back to how I felt through those years. Smells, images, and so on resurfaced. I realized the results of those violations never really go away.
At about age twelve, I put an end to the abuse, but did not tell my parents until I was twenty-five, married and the mother of a beautiful little girl.
Her birth was the catalyst to facing the hold abuse had on me. Many articles had come out at that time about incest, etc., and I began reading and digesting as many as I could find. Counseling was next for a couple of years. I have revisited counseling a few times over the years and am always self-developing.
My point is, healing is absolutely possible. However, the impact of the molester's actions is always with you, I think. When least expected, the impact can give cause for another self quest and another level of healing.
This is the first time I have ever put even this much in writing about my abused past. I consider it a new level of healing.
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