Comments for Adoption saved my newborn from abusive father

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Mar 19, 2008
You did what a mother is supposed to do: protect her child
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

What turmoil you must have gone through, Jessica; but it didn't cloud your judgment over what you knew you had to do to protect your son. Putting your baby up for adoption was a very self-less act. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm delighted that this site has helped to make you a better parent to your sons.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 02, 2008
Thank you
by: Jessica

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I really have never opened up about some of the things I have been thru. I've told my husband what he needs to know, but no details. Sometimes I wish I could confront my ex and ask him if he ever feels sorry or bad for what he did to me. My husband does not understand this at all, but I just feel that I wish I had some closure sometimes.
I also am in conflict about what to tell my adopted son should he ever ask what happened. Do I tell him the truth or just leave it in the past?
But I do appreciate your understanding in this matter...it is actually nice to have someone who can understand what I have been thru. Thank you again.
Jessica

Apr 02, 2008
Your question about what to tell your son, if the subject comes up...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Jessica, I'm not a child psychologist, so anything I offer is strictly a personal opinion.

I do not believe that parents, whether they are adoptive, birth or foster parents, should ever burden their children with adult problems. What a parent tells a child should always take into account the child's age, development and need to understand. Although you are asking because you anticipate the questions may come up in the future, as time goes forward and you grow and heal yourself, you may well become more comfortable with the fact that these things did happen. As you do heal and recover, you may find that the answers will come to you more naturally. The most important thing your son should know is that you love him. It sounds to me as though you are showing him that love now.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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