Comments for Abused By My Sister

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Apr 25, 2014
Tom:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

It's been my experience that confrontations rarely yield the desired result. Families deny what the victim says because to believe it is to rip away at the fabric of what they have come to regard as the family. Believing anyone but the abuser is to admit that they were blind to what was happening. It would entail admitting that they too had some responsibility in what happened. They would much rather blame the victim and call them attention-seekers, "black sheep", a host of other labels that aren't real. But you cannot tie your happiness to what they say and do or not do. Your happiness must come from an inner place. A place where joy already resides. You cannot make your family believe you because they are vested in believing that all is okay within the family. They cannot fathom what it would mean if they choose to believe otherwise. They are completely blind to what your sister said as a defensive statement because of their vested interest. She will likely always be believed over you. That doesn't make what happened to you non-existent. It makes your family blind. But if you continue to live your life trying to convince them otherwise, you will have wasted precious time. You must make the choice now about how you want to live your life. How you want to bring purpose to what happened to you. And whether or not you want to continue a relationship with these people. This is about YOU, not them. Sometimes healing means walking away from the people who are your family, especially when they continue to inflict pain upon you. You are not flawed, Tom. You are perfect as you are. Your family haven't rejected YOU as much as they've rejected the idea of what you represent: a dysfunctional and unsafe environment that they were all too self-absorbed to see. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Apr 26, 2014
i get it
by: Anonymous

I get what you are going through... I wrote my brother and stepmother an e-mail about what my brother did to... at age seven and nine. I got blamed...

Oh well... life is a lot more than their pleasure they got from acting out their problems with you.... it is about loving yourself as an adult... as my counselor says... you have to love that child that you were as teh adult you are now...

I love what Darlene writes. Keep in touch... I truly do get what you are going through....

Aug 17, 2014
Familys
by: Anonymous

I have a hard time with my family.I really don't want to be around them. I always seemed too vulnerable and I hated that.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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