Comments for Abuse Story From Kristen3 Part 2

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Oct 30, 2008
This isn't about what's "normal"...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

As I already stated in my comments to you before, Kristen: mind control and conditioning. You were programmed from the time you were an infant. Of course you would find security in that.

The question isn't what's "normal", Kristen; rather, it's the effects your childhood left you with and the degree to which those effects hinder your ability to function in your life today. You are a full-fledged adult, yet you still require others to make decisions for you. THAT'S what is not normal.

You have repeatedly indicated you don't want to be the one responsible for "breaking up your family"...you're not a child any longer, Kristen. Getting help for yourself is your right as a human being. You don't know that getting help for yourself would result in a family break up. But again, I refer you to my original comments. As an adult, you have to be the one to make this decision for yourself. But you'll have to find a way passed your submissiveness in order to do that; and only YOU can be the one to do that.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jan 17, 2009
Dear Kristen,
by: Francine

Your story had a lot for me to relate; the clothes thing...yes, I can relate, except that even as I turned 13, I always had to wear the clothes from the little kids' section only (even the underwear), and my mom claimed that it was just for me to be modest, too. No juniors' clothes, ever...until I almost turned 16, that is. As for shoes, I always had to wear those made from "animal" leather (as some people call it) and nice dressy European sneakers only; no Chucks, ever; no Vans, ever; no pleather shoes, ever; and ABSOLUTELY NO SKATE SHOES, EVER. Even jewelry is a big fat stinking issue because I always had to wear designers' jewelry (and especially the ones that my mom used to buy from her and my dad's jeweller friend from New York) only; no costume jewelry, ever. The funny thing is that my parents, too, decided that I would wear all those things out of modesty. How funny is that? Oh, and let's not forget make-up, too! Whenever I would wear make-up, I always had to wear light-colored eyeshadows, brown eyeliner, soft black mascara and pink lipstick only; red lipstick was NEVER ALLOWED AT ALL. Trust me, there are also even rules about nail polish cuz whenever I felt like wearing nail polish, I always had to wear light colors (pink, white, beige, lavendar, peach, just pick a shher light color) only; dark colrs were never acceptable. Well, I can relate to many parts of your story and please forgive me if I write too much.

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