A thank you from P
by Other than P, name withheld
Darlene, I want to thank you for the support you have given me. Since you reached out to me, as I think of those beatings my mother 'saved' for me, the tightness in my head is gone, and the horror of the 'why me' part of it has subsided. (I still remember the pain of those rabies shots though.)
You told me her behavior had nothing to do with me: "Your mother was obviously disturbed." I am believing that more and more all of the time. A counsellor had told me the same thing years ago, but it didn't really sink in. Now, when I think about traumatic times, your words pop into my head, and I feel a 'brightness' or a clarity of sorts in my mind, and I move on.
In the past, I had strayed away from my sisters. The oldest one, M, I hadn't spoken to in 7 1/2 years. M and I hugged at Christmas last year, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. One of the children said, "That's what I really wanted for Christmas." M and I have become very good friends and I have someone to talk to, and I trust her! I trust all of them! Wow, what a feeling. I felt it didn't really matter if I joined them when they visited. I had no idea how much they loved me. But by opening up to them, I began to love myself and I slowly realized they have loved me all of this time. I am 53 years old, and this concept had never been clear to me. Now, as I am learning to love (and trust) them, I'm doing the same for myself. My marriage is on the rocks, but we're going to make it.
Thank for your help and God bless you. To me, you are one of His messengers.
I received the above through a personal email from P, who gave me permission to post it in anonymity. My comments to his thank you can be found at the last link below.
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