Want Some Answers

by El
(Location Undisclosed)

I'm not really sure how to say this but I'll give it a shot. When I was seven a family member molested me during a family holiday. He was seventeen and took me into a bathroom. He took his pants down and made me touch him and he called me another girl's name. After a little while he said he was really sorry and asked me not to tell ever anyone and he was crying. I was really confused by what happened and I accidentally told my mom and dad. They told me that he hurt me and took me to a doctor and made she me tell what he did and do all these tests. I didn't want to tell cause I didn't want him to get in trouble. They said he hurt me but nothing he did hurt. It was just weird and actually felt kinda good. The test the doctor did hurt more than what he made me do. They told me what he did was really bad and I should hate him, but I don't and they said that I'll never see him again.

I wonder if it's wrong if I want to see him again. To tell him that I'm sorry and I'm not mad at him. I don't hate him. It has been a few years and I miss him.

My parents don't know but I heard them talking about him a little while ago and I found out that he was hurt like that, you know somebody touching him when he was little. But he was really hurt and really bad. He was even younger than me and lots of people touched him. I wonder if that's why he did what he did.

My parents and older brothers won't talk to me about it no matter how much I ask. I just want answers and no one will talk to me. They just want me to forget what happened. I hope someone here can help me understand what happened. Anyway thanks for listening. It was nice to tell somebody.

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