Swept Under Rug

by Name Undisclosed
(Location Undisclosed)

Well it started when I was very young 2-3 years old. I can't remember how it started but I remember some stuff that did happen. My uncle was around 15 years old and I just remember him touching me inappropriately and making me watch porn with him and making me do things to him. He would tell me it was a game and we had to do it before I could do anything like go play outside. He wouldn't let me go out unless I did things with him...

Fast forward a few years and my mom is catching me touching myself down there and she's constantly asking me who taught me and she would beat me when she caught me. One night I finally told her who did it and she freaked out on him. I don't remember much after that but my whole family swept it under the rug. I was forced to see him at every family event which really confused me. I thought what he did was normal.

Most of the women in my family including my sister and me have been sexually abused at one point in our lives and they were all brought up with the idea of what happens at home stays at home.

Fast forward to now. My other uncle was murdered on Christmas this past year in 2015 in his front yard and at his funeral my uncle that abused me was there and I fainted. He asked if I was okay and I just lost it and cried in his arms and after almost 13 years of hating him wishing he was dead wanting to die being confused and heart broken feeling disgusted being abused after that physically and mentally from my other family members and just going through this life journey and living through absolute hell and in the process finding peace and acceptance and healing from everything that has gone on in my life I cried on his shoulder and told him I forgave him and I love him and he told me he was sorry and it was the most freeing feeling. A weight was lifted off my shoulders that day and I just wanna thank God for showing me how to heal and learn to forgive.

This isn't all of my story but it's the most important part I wanna share. I'm 15 years old and this happened a while ago and more things just spiraled out of control after that horrible disgusting evil things but I got through. I've healed and learned and have grown from my struggles and I just wanna let you know there really is greener grass on the other side. Pull through it and don't give up.

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Mar 14, 2016
To Name Undisclosed:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Healing can come to us in many forms. And sometimes what we believe is complete healing is only the beginning of a process that spreads over the course of life lived as an adult. If you find yourself triggered as you move through the various ages and stages of your life, you may have deeper layers of healing to go through.

You said that so many of the women in your family had been abused. That's not unusual in families where abuse is swept under the rug. And it's even more disturbing that you would be beaten for touching yourself when your mother knew, she KNEW, that someone had to have taught you, meaning she knew you'd been abused. This is highly disturbing, and sets the premise for blame and shame to be carried by those who were victimized. I can only hope that you've learned from this whole experience that if your own child in the future were heaven forbid abused, you'd know NOT to do to that child what was done to you. And not to sweep it under the rug.

I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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