So Very Troubled

by Travis
(Location Undisclosed)

ive been on here before, and any normal person would have listened to the advice. problem # 1 im a alcoholic... I wake up to not wanting to drink, but by days end... I crave, but when I drink, I think of all the things back when I was a child. and wonder what that feels like... only to find pain. how could he? how was that enjoyable?

anyways... that all happened back when, and yes, I have a drinking prob...

this last new years I was drinking with some underage teenagers, and things got fuzzy.

I woke up in me and my wifes bed naked, and found out that I tried hitting on a 16 yo girl... idk if I did, but my wife smelled me and said it smelled like a rubber... since then we have been arguing about everything and anything. the worst part is her son is autistic, and I love with all my heart, but past thought come in.... I know im not gay, but I remember the feeling when I was his age... im sick, and just want it all to end. is there a way out? I love my wife, but I don't want to hurt OUR family... just tell me if I should leave. id do it. I swear... ps I found out he wasn't my bio dad. how could some1 ruin anothers life? not to mention ive been trying to get my wife to leave me...just so I don't hurt our family anymore. how f***ed up am I to be able and willing to do this?



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