Singled Out by Parents

by Malia
(Texas, USA)

Right now I am a 15 year old girl, the second child out of 4 children in my family. I have been treated very badly verbally from my parents for the past 2 years. I also have 3 other siblings that are placed on a pedestal by both of my parents. I find that every time they do something wrong I always get the blame and punishment from them (even if the situation is seen in front of them, or even if I am not present at the situation).

I have done some research, and this is a form of emotional abuse.

In the past it had lead me to hurting myself intentionally and having suicidal thoughts. Every single time I step out of my room I am scared that I would get attacked by my parents. The people who raised me from the day I was born. I had remembered many good memories with them, but I still can remember more bad than good. but all of this belittling and bullying, it was like this all happened out of nowhere. And I wonder if children should be afraid of their parents.

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Comments for Singled Out by Parents

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Jan 28, 2016
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

It's not illegal for children to be afraid of their parents. Many adults believe this is part of parenting. That they aren't doing their job properly if their children don't fear them. I'm not an advocate of such misguided thinking. I know both professionally and personally the adverse effects of such fear.

It seems your parents have targeted you. And there are many reasons that this happens. NONE of which are your fault. NONE of which are about you. Always remember that. I've written an article about this. You can find it here Their vile behaviour towards you is all about THEM, difficult as that is to see at this point in your life. If you do choose to check out the article linked to above, it critical that you don't turn those explanations against yourself. EVER.

What's important now, Malia, is to see the good in yourself. To not let their disgusting behaviour undermine who and what you really are. You have a strength of character, a knowing of what is right and wrong that they can never take away from you. Focus on the person you really are. Write down all your qualities. Never believe the lies they tell you about yourself, both directly and indirectly. They really have no credibility, so don't take their messages to heart. And boy do I know how challenging that can be, especially when you're living with attacks or the possibility of attacks each and every day. But you must focus on the truth of Who You Really Are.

There are places to turn to if you need help. Contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

Remember how strong you are, Malia. Hang onto that strength. It will get you through all of this. Just reach out for the help you need.

I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 28, 2016
Singled out by parents
by: Carol

No child should have to feel afraid of their parents. But it happens and it is not the child's fault they are being abused, causing them to feel afraid.

Parents are suppose to be safe for a child, to love their children and nurture them. Children are suppose to be able to go to their parents when they are afraid or have problems that are not caused by their parents. When parents are the cause of problems it is important to find another adult like a teacher, student counselor, a friend's parent, someone you feel you can trust would have your back. Tell someone what is going on.

I hope that if your parents were confronted by another adult they would do right by you. But you have to determine if it would help to be in therapy with your parents in counselling. Sometimes parents don't realize how their children feel unless its pointed out to them. But most importantly, is it safe for you to go that route? The other thing to consider is if you have a safe place to go? A number you can call? Make sure you have these last 2 in place before confronting your parents if you choose to do that. Wish you the best.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

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