Scars From Abuse

by Kevin W
(Pennsylvania, United States)

I was born in Seoul, South Korea. At the age of four I was adopted by my Caucasian parents. Someone cared enough to take me out of the situation I was in though I have little memory of it. Aside from an L-shaped scar on my nose and a chemical burn on my left arm the only other physical evidence is the result of being repeatedly hit in the head and the resulting brain tumor 30 years later as a result.

The results of the abuse may or may not have had an effect on my hearing. In a way, I never grew up after being hit in the head. The immediate result was that my Eustachian tubes never developed and I never grew out of the hearing problems usually associated with children. I was fine with having to wear hearing aids and was happy to live in a world where that technology was available.

I never prayed for an easy life. I asked for the strength to overcome a hard life. The tumor completely shut down my pituitary gland. There are 6 pills I have to take to wake in the morning to face the challenges of everyday life.

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Comments for Scars From Abuse

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Feb 16, 2016
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like to have lived such a horrible start to life. It's understandable that one so young would not remember all of it, in part because of your age, in part because of the horrors of it. The human mind does protect itself, and so does the body. And the body can only take so much before it succumbs to illness and disease.

It is not at all uncommon for children to experience hearing loss as a result of blocked and infected Eustachian tubes; they are so tiny in young children. If your tubes were infected and kept getting infected and were left untreated, then the permanent hearing loss is explainable. And given the circumstances of your childhood in those early years, you likely also suffered from neglect. Blow to the head would not have helped. So it's not a leap to say that your hearing loss was a result of some form of child abuse.

Now here you are, dealing with a brain tumour. How you choose to see this is an important part of your healing, Kevin. If you see this as a direct result of all the blows you received as a child, as a direct result of all the abuse you endured, then you will always be reminded of that abuse and those blows. But if you instead change your perspective and consider that the tumour is a reminder that you survived and had really good wonderful adoptive parents (assuming you did) who nurtured and loved and valued you, then suddenly you have shifted from a negative to a positive mindset.

You were dealt a really crappy hand as a young child, and now are dealing with more crappiness decades later. But you and ONLY you get to choose how you will respond to all that. And given how strong you clearly are, I have no doubt that you will embrace the positive.

I send you love, light and healing energy, Kevin. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 16, 2016
Thank you
by: Kevin W.

Darlene, you couldn't be more right. I've gone through all this before and I really thought it was over. My tumor has taught me that my abuse will always be with me. That which does not kill me only makes me stronger. My survival is my armor, there is nothing in this world that can harm me like it did when I was young.
And you are also right, I am blessed to have adoptive parents that love me. Karma didn't have me face this challenge later in life to make me weaker. The mysterious ways presented this bump in the road to remind me that I survived.

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