Respect Your Body

by Mackenzie
(Location Undisclosed)

I'm 14 years old and I'm slowly healing from sexual assault.


Back in June 2013 I started to hang around the wrong crowd, I was 12 turning 13 that month on the 29th. I was a very confused person back then, I was so oblivious to everything it's unbelievable.

Anyway I started hanging around this group of people at a house not far from my school
that were into drugs and that's how I met my abuser, he's name was J-- he was 16 years old and was well aware that I was 12 turning 13 that month! (June) I started talking to him on Facebook and one stupid mistake led to another and I found my self meeting him on the corner of my school to go 'hang' out at H--'s which was the kids house I was hanging around at the time. I'm pretty sure we were first planned to go to his house which is 2 mins from H--'s, it's all kind of a blur to me still. We got to H--'s sat there for abit with everyone, it was both our ideas to go to his house cause it was crowded at H--'s just to HANG OUT! We sat in the lounge room for abit watched TV, then he showed me his room, I sat on his bed and then I had the idea to stay over, I wasn't to sure cause I knew my mum wouldn't allow it! I unfortunately lied to my mum about where I was and told her I was at my friends house. Later that evening J--'s mum came home, we sat for a bit then we went to bed, I had no idea why I was sleeping in his bed, It is such a blur and I was so confused at the time. J-- wanted to have sex, I liked the idea for a second because I thought I would be 'cool' like the other kids, I was so shy and scared before anything happened but he finally pushed me into it! Abit later that night about 12am J-- was said he was going to sleep I was so scared at the time that I didn't want to be up by myself even if I was with him! (Pathetic right?!) we ended up having sex a second time because he said he would stay up if I did it again, so yet again I out myself through something that was so scary and uncomfortable for me for some unknown sad reason. I finally went to sleep and the next morning I had several missed calls from my mum, before I decided to go home me and J-- sat in the lounge room while his mum and sister went out, J-- was hinting to have sex again! I yet again gave in because I was to scared to say no and scared that if I said no he would think I'm a loser and tell the others! (Which he did in the end anyway) I was so shy the third time, he tried pulling my shorts down because I wouldn't, I pulled them up and he pulled them back down I gave up and gave in. I left and went home after that. Weeks after I told my counsellor, she reported it and J-- got charged and a 12month good behaviour bond and I'm stuck with a life sentence of pain and frustration with myself! I am seeing an assault counsellor and it's helping! It's going to be a long road but I will get there sooner or later! :)

Girls respect your body and don't let what others think affect you!!!



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Comments for Respect Your Body

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Oct 27, 2014
Mackenzie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are only "stuck with a life sentence of pain and frustration with myself" if you choose that. You have the ability to choose to look at what happened in a different way. A way that is more in keeping with what really happened. A way that you've already articulated in your story. You wanted to fit in. Everyone wants that. So don't fault yourself for those feelings. Focus instead on what brought you to those feelings in the first place: that you're not enough. Know that you ARE enough. Yes, respect your body, but first recognize that the way to respecting your body is the knowledge that you are enough just as you are. That no matter what others say or think, that knowledge will always trump whatever others say or do or think. Being comfortable in your own skin is the answer. Because when you are happy being Who You Really Are, no one can say, do or think anything that will adversely affect you. What happened with J-- is a learning experience or it's a prison sentence. You get to decide. If you choose the latter, then J-- will always have control and power over you. But if you choose the former, you get to take back your power, and that's when your healing will really begin. And you deserve that kind of healing. I send you love, light and healing energy, Mackenzie. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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