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Apr 24, 2015
Emer:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. Nothing at all. What happened to you is very typical. Children, especially very young children, often relate strongly to their abusers. This is because abusers are experts at luring the grooming the children they abuse. They lavish them with attention that is so welcome, and sometimes also with gifts. This is done on purpose to gain the trust of the child. And what child doesn't want the attention. So for goodness sake, don't blame yourself and don't call yourself down for the way you responded as a child. It would have been very confusing to you.

Children don't tell for a variety of reasons. #1 on the list is not being believe. But there are many other reasons. And when an adult finds out and grills a child, it's the child who feels responsible. Add to that, feelings of caring and compassion for the abuser, of course you'd feel the way you felt: sorry for the old man.

As you grew older and more mature you began to pass judgment on yourself. But that is highly unfair to yourself. Understand that you were just a small child and that you had no control over the power this man yielded as a result of his luring and grooming.

Your parents certainly did what they could to protect you. And they probably didn't want you (or them) to go through all the mess of legal stuff by reporting him, so they decided to take care of him themselves. And of course, this would have left him to abuse other children. No one can blame your parents for the way they handled the situation.

What's important now is to walk your own healing path. And it starts by no longer judging yourself for the way you handled things. Then by realizing that you were a needy child, which put you at risk for abuse. ALL children are at risk just because they are young, naive, and innocent. That's what makes them vulnerable. That's why children need adults in their lives to keep them safe.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with you. Not then. Not now. I send you love, light and healing energy, Emer. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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