Homeschooled Stepmother Nightmare

by Samantha
(Louisiana, USA)

My name is Samantha. I'm 16 years old almost 17. I'm still living my nightmare.

My mom died when I was 3 of colon cancer and my dad was left to raise me and my older sister who was almost 14. My grandma mostly raised us because my dad worked all the time. I loved my dad. He was an amazing person. We would always have family over no matter what day of the week. I was happy until my dad remarried 3 years later. She seemed nice and everything until for my 4th grade year she decided to home school me and my stepsister. I have dyscalculia--it's a math disability. At the time we didn't know. When she would help me with math I would lock up and keep quiet and just say idk and it would upset her cause she thought I was being rude and disrespecting her so she would hit me.

It started out as slaps on my legs then my arms and eventually led to my face and her grabbing me by the hair and shaking me up and down and dragging me by my hair. She's given me a bloody nose, a black eye, choked me, made me kneel on air vents, dry rice, hardwood floor and concrete. She has made me sit outside on concrete in 90 degree weather in the sun because I forgot to give the dog water. She has made me get on my elbows and toes and poured orange liquid dish soap in my mouth. She has told me that when I die no one will miss me. I've been called vulgar words, and hurtful words. She has kept me from my family and started lying to me saying they never came around anymore because they didn't wanna see me and they didn't want anything to do with me.

I eventually told my grandmother what was happening but I went back with them because she said she wouldn't do it again and she didn't from what I remember but she started mentally and emotionally abusing me. I got tired of it and when I was 15 I started cutting myself because I thought it was my fault she was treating me like that but I realized it wasn't.

I eventually stopped cutting this year. Recently my dad has been treating me differently than my stepsister and its getting to where I don't like my dad. There's more to my story but I just want help.

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Comments for Homeschooled Stepmother Nightmare

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Feb 03, 2016
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

First, I feel deeply for the loss of your mother. And now, for what you feel to be the loss of your father's affection. You're feeling betrayal and abandonment, and all because of an outsider. Someone not of your blood. Someone who is clearly not right in the head. The fact that your father seems more like he's siding with her rather than taking the relationship the two of you had, trusting her while seemingly shunning you, has to be very difficult to take.

I am glad to hear that you've stopped cutting. You deserve to be treated with dignity, respect and love. And that must start with YOU. Stopping that self-destructive behaviour was a big step for you. Acknowledge it for your Self. I sure do! It shows how strong you really are. And how mature you are for realizing that self-destroying behaviour like cutting is not the answer to your troubles. Again, that was a huge step.

Sharing here was another step. One that allowed you to tell your story in a safe and anonymous way. To get it out there. But this can only be one of many steps you need to take. Now you must reach out to those who can help.

Contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose what is happening in your home. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

You don't deserve to be mistreated, Samantha. You deserve love. Know that what is happening to you, and what has happened to you is not your fault. Whatever is going on in the stepmother's life to bring her to the twisted belief that you both deserve and must receive such brutal punishment is on HER, not you. She's the one choosing to abuse you. Lean on the people in your life who you can trust. Your grandparents, for example. As for your father, he's not doing the right thing, but his reasons are likely more misguided than hard-hearted. He might be able to be reasoned with, but it will likely require you to show a great deal of maturity. I'm not saying you're immature. Not at all. What I am saying is that many, even most, parents don't take the word of an adolescent they see as defiant or rebellious. If this might be you at times, look for ways to respond differently. Doing so could go a long way in bridging whatever gap there is in the relationship between you and your dad. I know this isn't fair. And I know that all of this is awakening a great deal of pain from a long time ago. Again, just know that you are worthy of dignity and respect.

I send you love, light and healing energy, Samantha. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 07, 2016
Too close...
by: Anonymous

Your story hits me severely. My sons wife, step mother to his son is so much like this. And the homeschooling is part of it. What an easy way to hide child abuse and gain more control if you leave no place for an outsider to see what's going on. Please read articles on narcisstic step parents and see if this hits home for you. Would really like to see a tighter system regarding homeschooling. Good luck to you, my grandson left when he hit 18 and with counseling has a good chance of some recovery. I tried numerous times to get authorities involved but narcisstic people are wickedly smart. I often wish he would just go back and sue.

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