Going Mad in China

by Yupin K

I am a short Chinese boy and I am afraid of my parents. They are very strict with me. When I studied in primary school,I did badly in my studies. I often failed in my test, I was so frightened to be punished, but I never have courage to hide my paper. Every time I make mistake they always take me to the yard and give me a Chinese style spanking. It was hurt and embarrassing because three of my neighbors' children were my classmates. After being spanked, I had to kneel on the yard to "reflect on myself", and the children always play tricks on me. What's worse, they talk about the embarrassing scene in the classroom. I was laughed at by all of my classmates. So when I finally came to high school, I became self-abased.

I don't want to talk to everyone. My parents would never know how they changed me. I don't want to talk back about the dark childhood either. The pain, sore knees and laughter from my classmates would never be forgotten. That makes me almost go mad.

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Comments for Going Mad in China

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Feb 17, 2016
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Oh, I wish there was a place I could send you within your country to get the help you need. Your parents are stuck in a twisted traditional form of discipline, misguidedly believing that adopting these methods will make you a better person. But they only serve to destroy your self-esteem and drive you further away from Who You Really Are. My heart is really hurting for you. I can only provide you with an outlet on this site, a safe haven for you to express how you feel. I can also tell you that you are far more worthy and valuable than you know.

What your parents are doing to you is wrong. No matter how much the people of your country accept this form of discipline, no matter how they believe it isn't wrong, it IS wrong. Your parents might think they are doing what is best for you, but they are stuck in a time and discipline that serves to take a person backward, not forward.

Now here's the thing, Yupin, while there isn't much we can do to convince your parents right now that what they are doing to you is wrong, what you can do is see what you are going through as purposeful. You are the generation that can bring about change. Not your parents' generation or the ones before them. YOU. What you are experiencing must end with you and people just like you. There is another way to raise healthy loving compassionate children. And though you are caught in this traditional, and quite frankly demented form of discipline brought about by sadists and control freaks, you do not have to accept it for the future. Do not allow what you are enduring to jade you. Use it to strengthen your resolve for something better. And when you feel the need to express how you feel, feel free to come onto this site and share within the comments on this thread. You are stronger than you give your Self credit for, Yupin. Don't lose sight of the wonderful person you are within.

I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 22, 2016
by: Anonymous

Can you get tutoring at your school or nearby?

While you are stuck under your parents roof, there are two things I think you should do.

First, look for tutoring. It will stop them from disciplining you if you do better.
Second, write. Writing can help us purge all of our anger & hurt.

I wish I could do more, everything Darlene said above is correct, but since you're in another country this is all I can suggest.
I'm a mom, if my kids do poorly I find them resources so they can strive to do better...do this for yourself, be the person you need in your life.

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